Tip the Scales
by neo-chan
Summary: Two years have passed since Tai realized his feelings for Yamato, and Yamato feels that he's now ready for a relationship with Tai. But what if the odds are against them? [previously 'Not Gonna Get Us']
1. One

**A/N:** This is the sequel to "How to Hatch an Egg in Three Days". Doesn't really matter if you read that, though.

Ages: Kari, TK: 13 xXx Daisuke, Koushiro: 14 xXx Mimi, Tai, Sora, Yama: 15 xXx Jyou: 16

**DISCLAIMER:** Nope, don't own Digimon.

**Tip the Scales:  
Chapter One**  
by: neo-chan

It was Saturday, April 19th, and I had just woken up. Sunlight was streaming in through the cracks in my blinds and my window was open, allowing me to hear birds chirping outside.

I hopped out of bed, humming as I made my way to the bathroom. Today was the day. I was going to tell Tai.

It had been two years since he'd mentioned the concept of us being a couple; plenty of time to think about it. And now that I was older and had been exposed to more things, it was easier to grasp the idea of going against the "norm" and pursuing some sort of relationship-other than friendship-with another male.

I ate quickly and then put on my pre-selected clothing. I knew what I wore wasn't that important to Tai, but I wanted to look good anyway. And at the same time I wanted to look casual, like I hadn't really thought about my outfit too much. The clothes I'd decided on was a pair of tight jeans-Mimi called them, among some other jeans of mine, my "girl pants"-, a black long-sleeved shirt, and a black belt with silver studs. Simple, but it looked good.

Over the last while I'd let my hair grow out, and so it hung to almost my shoulders. What actually happened was that I'd just been too lazy to get it cut, and one day Tai had commented that he liked it that way, so it had been decided that I wasn't going to cut it after all.

Tai had grown taller than me, which he loved to gloat about. Also, he'd become increasingly outgoing while I'd become more quiet and reserved. Our friendship hadn't changed though; if anything, it was stronger. Which is why I was convinced that we were ready to engage in a different kind of relationship.

Picking up the cordless phone, I dialed Tai's number. The phone rang twice before anyone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Kari. Is Tai up?"

"No, but I can go wake him up for you!"

Before I even answered, Kari put down the phone and I heard her yell "Tai!"

The 'Easter chick', whom had been named Yamachi by putting mine and Tai's names together, had unfortunately died about a year after it hatched. We'd had a funeral for it and everything. Tai's mom had offered to buy them a new pet, but Kari had refused.

The phone was picked up and Tai grumbled into it.

"H'llo?" he mumbled.

"Hey," I said, feeling guilty for waking him up. "Um... do you think you could meet me at the park?"

There was a pause, then Tai groaned.

"Matt, it's frikkin' early! What could you possibly want on a Saturday morning?"

"Um..." I suddenly felt stupid. "...to talk?"

"Are you kidding?"

"No," I said sheepishly.

Tai let out a heavy, exaggerated sigh. I held my breath, waiting for his answer.

"...fine. I'm awake now anyway. Just let me get dressed and stuff... I'll call you back when I'm ready."

"Okay. Sorry I woke you up."

"If it was anyone but you, I'd kick their ass. See you soon."

"Bye."

I hung up and glanced in the mirror one last time, then slipped on my shoes-which were black and white and completed my outfit-and left the apartment, heading down the hall to the elevator. I knew Tai had probably fallen back to sleep, despite what he'd said.

When I got down to the fifth floor and knocked on Tai's door, Kari answered it as I'd expected.

"Hi, Matt," she said, letting me in.

"Hey, 'Kar. Tai in bed?"

"Yup."

"Thought so." I took off my shoes and headed down the hall to Tai's room as Kari went into the living room.

I entered Tai's room and shut the door behind me. We didn't really have to go to the park; we could just talk right there and then. Especially because I couldn't wait to get it over with.

"What do you want, Kari?" Tai mumbled, face buried in his pillow.

I sat down cross-legged on his bed. "Getting dressed, huh?"

Startled, Tai rolled over to face me. He laughed and shook his head.

"You know me too well." He sat up and stretched. "Alright, alright, give me five minutes, I swear-"

"It's okay, we don't have to go."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Tai leaned back against his headboard. "Well, what did you want to talk about?"

I was nervous as hell, and so I stalled by rattling off a random fact.

"Did you know Dai and Mimi are together?"

Tai raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. I was there when we found out."

"Oh."

"Yama, c'mon. Let's cut through all the games and get right to the point. What is it?"

I looked down at Tai's sheets, playing with an invisible thread. "Okay... Tai, you know how..." I paused, not knowing how to phrase it. "Um... remember that whole... thing... a couple of years ago?"

I peeked up at Tai just in time to see him nod.

"Uh-huh. Go on."

"Well, it's obviously been a long time since then. So I thought about it. And I... I came to a conclusion."

"Which is...?"

"I think I want to do it."

I felt a blush creeping through my cheeks. That had been the worst possible way to word it.

"Do what?" Tai asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Have that kind of relationship," I said softly, not daring to look up.

There was a moment of sickening silence. I waited anxiously, biting my lip. Silence could be a good or a bad sign.

"Hm."

I looked up, but Tai was gazing in another direction. And he was frowning. The knot in my stomach tightened.

"I don't know, Yama."

I stared at him in shock for a few long moments.

"What do you mean?" I squeaked, finding my voice.

Tai's eyes finally found mine. "Two years is a long time. I've had time to think about it, too, and a relationship like that between us might not work."

Hot tears stung the backs of my eyelids. I couldn't believe Tai was saying this.

"You're doing this just to spite me," I hissed in realization.

"No I'm not. This has nothing to do with you turning me down two years ago."

"Then why are you mentioning it?"

"Because I know that's what you think!"

"Then why? You wanted it so badly before, what made you change your mind?"

"Yama, how long do you think we'd be able to hold a steady relationship for? We're fifteen."

"But it was okay when we were thirteen?" I challenged.

He shook his head. "I didn't think about it back then."

"Well, you should've."

"Well, I didn't."

Tai and I had a staring match, neither of us wanting to break first. Eventually I did, looking away.

"So what now?" I asked, my voice void of emotion.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Close yourself off to me like that. What do you want me to do, lie and say I think we should go for it right away? That's not how I feel, Yama. Not anymore."

I shook my head and stood up. "I can't believe you're saying this."

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you're gonna get all mad because-"

"Because what?" I snapped. "Because you fucking turned me down just to spite me?"

"I told you, that's not what it is-"

"Whatever."

I left Tai's room, walking through the hall with my jaw set and my fists clenched. Kari looked up when she saw me at the front door and frowned.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," I said, trying to sound neutral. "Lock the door, will you, Kari?"

She didn't ask any more questions. As I waited in the apartment hallway for the elevator, I kept looking back at their door, half-expecting Tai to come after me. But the elevator came and the door stayed shut.

After I entered my apartment, I sat on the couch and waited. The TV was on but I wasn't watching anything. I sat there and waited for Tai to call, or show up at the door, or something.

But he never came.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**


	2. Two

**DISCLAIMER:** Do I own Digimon? Let me check my mail and I'll get back to you...

**Tip the Scales:  
Chapter Two**  
by: neo-chan

A short while after returning home, I'd changed into an old t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. There was no need to look good anymore; Tai obviously didn't want me.

I was sitting in the kitchen when the phone rang. I glared at it, not wanting to talk to anyone.

Then I realized it could be Tai. I really didn't feel like talking to him either, but I sure as hell didn't want to **not** talk to him either. I depend on Tai too much; a few days without him would be hell.

I picked up the phone and mumbled a hello.

"Yamato?"

"Oh. Hi, Dad."

"What's wrong? You don't sound very happy."

"..." I didn't answer.

"Yamato, what's wrong?" my dad asked again.

"It's a long story."

"We're going to talk about the 'long story' when I come home. Anyhow, I called to let you know that your mother invited us over for dinner tomorrow, what with it being Easter and all. She-"

"Is that all?" I interrupted.

"Er- I suppose so..." My dad sounded caught off-guard.

"Well, thanks for telling me. Bye."

"Yamato, we're going to talk later," he said sternly. "Goodbye."

I hung up the phone and cursed. Why hadn't I just let the phone ring? Now I had to explain everything to my dad.

"Who fucking cares anyway?" I muttered to myself, sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs.

My gaze drifted again towards the phone, and I jumped when it rang. After the third ring, it clicked to our voicemail and I waited to see who it was and if they were going to leave a message.

_"Hey."_

I stiffened when I heard Tai's voice.

_"Just checking to make sure you're alright. Call me back. Don't make this a bigger deal than it has to be." _There was a pause. _"No, you know what? Screw this. I'm coming over."_

That was the end of the message. I got up from the chair, not knowing what to do. I only had about a minute to decide; should I ignore it like Tai was doing or press the issue further? Or refuse to talk to him at all?

Three hard knocks sounded on the door, and I shut my eyes briefly. _Damn._

"Matt!" Tai called through the door. "Open up!"

I didn't answer, not yet sure of what I wanted to do.

"Matt!" Tai's voice had lost whatever patience it had. "If you don't open this door, I'll show people those pictures of you in that cute pink apron!"

I was at the door in an instant, throwing it open and glaring at Tai, who smirked.

"What do you want?" I crossed my arms over my chest, still glaring at him.

"To make sure you're not being your little emo self and sulking in a corner."

I just continued to glare at him.

Tai rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. You can't blame this all on me, Yama."

I refused to respond.

"This is stupid. I told you what I thought about us having a relationship and you're getting mad at me? For telling the truth?"

I focused my gaze on the wall, remaining silent.

Tai snorted. "Nice," he said sarcastically. "Giving me the silent treatment? That's gonna fix things."

Again, I kept my mouth shut. Tai looked like he wanted to hit me, but I knew he wouldn't.

"Don't fucking ignore me," he hissed in annoyance. "That's so fucking immature."

I didn't even blink. If Tai wanted, he could stand there and talk all day.

I let out an involuntary gasp when Tai slapped me. My eyes widened and I stared at him in disbelief, hand flying to my cheek. Tears sprung to my eyes, but I blinked them back.

Tai's eyes were wide for a moment as he stared back at me, then he looked away. I knew he hadn't meant to slap me. But he still had.

"Yama-"

I shook my head, staring at the wall again and blinking back tears rapidly.

Tai sighed. "I'm sorry."

I let out a small, shaky breath, but didn't reply.

"Don't do this!" Tai exclaimed in frustration. "Look, I didn't mean to hit you-"

"But you did." My voice was quiet.

"Yama, please don't do this."

"I think you should go, Tai."

"Yama-"

I shut the door in his face, thankful that I hadn't let him past the front door. The tears I'd been holding back spilled over my cheeks and I bit my lip so hard that the skin ripped. Maybe I didn't want to be in a relationship with Tai after all.

...at least, I wished I didn't want to be.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

My eyes were rimmed with red and appeared swollen. My skin looked pale and sickly. My hair was a mess and I'd almost made myself sick with all the crying I'd done. I looked like a ghost.

I was acting like one, too. I'd wandered around the apartment aimlessly until I found myself out on the balcony. There was a cool breeze outside and I was in my boxers and a t-shirt, but I didn't really care. I sat down, pulling my knees up to my chest, and leaned against the bars, staring blankly through them.

I didn't know what I wanted to do. I wished I could go back in time and make the decision to keep quiet about wanting a relationship. If I'd known there was a risk that Tai would say no, I wouldn't have brought it up. But I'd assumed that he still wanted it.

I dug my nails into my wrist. _God, I'm so stupid._ The skin began to feel like it was going to tear open, but I didn't stop. For some reason, I wanted to punish myself. I **wanted** it to hurt. It was better than being hurt by Tai.

When my dad came home, I was still outside on the balcony. It had begun raining sometime while I was out there. I barely listened as he dragged me inside, yelling something about getting sick.

"Are you insane?" he exclaimed. "What is wrong with you! A few minutes more and you'd have gotten pneumonia! You've already caught a cold, look at you sniffling! Wait a minute... are those tears?"

Were they? I couldn't feel anything. My body was numb from the cold.

"Yamato, what's wrong?" My dad's voice had softened. "Tell me about it."

I refused to speak. I didn't want to tell him about it.

"Yamato, this isn't healthy. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." My voice came out in a whisper.

"You were sitting out on the balcony crying for no reason? What's going on?"

I didn't answer. Instead I all but ran to my room and locked the door behind me, ignoring my dad calling my name. I threw myself onto my bed and buried my face in a pillow. I just wanted to stay there in my room, alone. With no one to bother me.

After a few minutes, I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. What the hell was I supposed to do? As sappy as it sounded, I needed Tai. I had grown dependant on him. He was the closest friend I'd ever had, and without him I was a complete mess.

I moved closer to the nighttable beside my bed and opened the first drawer, pulling out a photo album. There were several pictures of Tai and myself, and with each page I turned, I became more depressed. If we weren't supposed to be a couple, why did we look so happy together?

"I hate you," I whispered, tears beginning to well up in my eyes. I threw the photo album across the room and buried my face in my pillow again. It wasn't fair.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I wasted the rest of Saturday away. Sunday morning, I woke up with the sun shining in my eyes.

"Easter," I mumbled to myself. "Great."

Why did it have to be so sunny? Was the world mocking me?

"Fuck you," I muttered, glaring out the window.

A knock on the door made me jump.

"Yamato," my dad called. "I'd like to have a talk with you."

_Fuck._ I reluctantly rolled out of bed, changing into a pair of pants and a t-shirt. At the last second, I realized that the t-shirt was Tai's. He'd left it at my place and never taken it back.

"Fuck you, Tai," I muttered bitterly, pulling the t-shirt over my head and tossing it on the floor. I put on another shirt, then emerged from my room, blinking back another set of tears.

My dad was sitting in the kitchen, waiting. He motioned for me down across from him, and I did.

"Now," my father said, "what's this all about?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I replied.

"Yamato, it's unhealthy to keep things inside-"

"Tai and I had a fight."

"About what?"

I was silent.

"Yamato-"

"Dad, I can work out my own problems!"

My dad looked hurt. I'd always talked to him about my life in the past. But over the past year or so, I'd started to drift away from him and keep more to myself. Besides, I didn't exactly want to tell him that Tai and I were in a fight over a potential romantic relationship.

I knew it offended my dad that I wouldn't talk to him about personal issues anymore, but I just didn't feel comfortable. So what if I didn't share everything with him? It wasn't a big deal.

"Can I go now?" I muttered.

He shook his head, as if he were disappointed in me. I hated that look.

"You may go, Yamato. Make sure you're ready to leave for your mother's house at 5:30."

My father didn't say another word to me until we were actually walking down the hall to my mom's apartment that evening.

"Don't give your mother and brother a cause for worry," he told me. "Act happy. After all, it's Easter."

I nodded obediently but reluctantly, and he knocked on the door. My mother answered it and broke into a smile.

"Yamato, Hiroaki! It's good to see you!"

"It's good to see you, too, Natsuko," my father said. "Where's Takeru?"

"Right here," TK said, appearing from around the corner. He gave my dad a hug, then turned to me.

"Hey, Teeks," I said, trying to smile.

"What's wrong?" TK asked immediately.

"So, what have you been up to lately?" my father interrupted quickly, putting a hand on TK's shoulder and steering him towards the dining table.

"You're very quiet," my mother remarked as we sat down at the table. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine," I lied.

"If you say so, honey. Now, let's eat!"

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

There was a message on the phone when we got back, and I wasn't sure I wanted to retrieve it. It was probably Tai, and hearing his voice would probably hurt me rather than help me. But what would he be calling for anyway?

I decided to check the message once I was in my room with the door locked. I knew I had to retrieve the message before my dad decided to. So I picked up the phone and dialed our mailbox, then braced myself.

_"It's me,"_ came Tai's voice, as expected. _"Yama, you're being ridiculous. If you really want to ruin our friendship over something so stupid, go ahead. But you're only spiting yourself. I-"_

I skipped the rest of the message and erased it. The anger and hurt had surfaced again. Why was Tai calling? Was he **trying** to make this harder on me?

I stripped down to my boxers and looked through one of my drawers for a t-shirt. I came across another shirt of Tai's. After a moment of hesitance, I pulled it on. It was probably the closest I was going to get to him for a long time.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**


	3. Three

**DISCLAIMER:** If I owned Digimon, would I really be writing this?... okay, maybe.

**Tip the Scales:  
Chapter Three**  
by: neo-chan

I woke up on Easter Monday and thanked God that there was no school. I knew I wouldn't have been able to face Tai. Especially because I missed him a hell of a lot already.

I didn't answer the phone when it rang, afraid that it would be Tai. My dad answered it, however, and then came to my door and told me that Mimi was on the phone.

"Hi, Mimi," I said dully, picking up the phone.

"Tai told me you're not talking to him. What's going on?"

I felt a flash of irritation. "Tai's acting like he did nothing wrong! He's the one who started this whole thing!"

"What whole thing? One of you has to tell me what's going on!"

"It's complicated. You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"...I don't wanna talk about it."

"Matt, how am I supposed to help you if you won't tell me what's going on!"

"I don't need your help."

"Now I understand why Tai said you were being emo. Tell me what's going on or I'll be forced to blackmail you."

"With what?"

"Oh, just pictures from a certain shopping expedition..."

"...two years ago, Tai told me that he liked me."

"What? Why didn't I hear about this!"

"That's not the point."

"You're right. The point is, why aren't you two going out?"

"Because I wasn't sure if I liked him back then."

"...keep going."

"Well, I finally realized that I do like him in these two years. So I decided to tell him, and I did it this Saturday."

"And...?"

"He told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me."

"What! That doesn't make any sense!"

"I know," I said sulkily.

"So wait, why aren't you two talking?"

Hadn't I just explained? "Because he turned me down!"

"You turned him down two years ago," Mimi pointed out.

"We were thirteen! I didn't know what I felt for him!"

"Tai told me he tried to talk this over, but you're refusing to talk to him. Is that true?"

"Well... yeah!"

"Matt, that's not fair. He's perfectly willing to talk to you-"

"That's because he's not hurt by this!"

"You two need to make up. This is ridiculous. You don't want to destroy your friendship, do you?"

"I can't just ignore what happened. The only way for things to work out is to go back in time."

"Well, we can't do that, so let's deal with what we **can** do."

"I'm not doing anything," I said stubbornly. "He's the one who rejected me. Let him do the fixing."

And I hung up.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Tuesday came too fast. I contemplated pretending I was sick so I wouldn't have to go to school, but I knew I'd have to face Tai eventually anyway. I pulled on a pair of random jeans and a t-shirt, then looked in the mirror and shook my head. I looked horrible.

The phone rang, but I ignored it. After brushing my hair, grabbing my bag, and putting on my shoes, I walked out the door. When I got to school, I was greeted by a not-so-happy Mimi at my locker.

"Yamato Ishida, how could you!"

I looked up just in time to see a hand coming towards my face. When I recovered from the slap, Mimi was glaring at me.

"What was that for!" I exclaimed angrily.

"That was for hanging up on me! I was just trying to help!"

"I don't need your help!"

"You're being ridiculous! You'd rather wallow in self-pity than try to fix this?"

I frowned, not responding.

"What did he do that was so wrong?" Mimi pressed.

"He hit me."

Mimi looked surprised. "What? He hit you?"

I nodded, and she frowned.

"Tai didn't tell me that."

"I didn't think so."

"Well, did he apologize?"

"...yes."

"Then he obviously didn't mean to hurt you! Matt, you have to talk to him-"

"What if I don't want to talk to him!" I exploded. "What if I don't want to forgive him! I can't just pretend this never happened! Tai hurt me, and if he doesn't miss our friendship enough to get me back, then it's obviously not worth it!"

"Matt-"

"No, Mimi! If I can't have Tai as my boyfriend, well..." I set my jaw determinedly. "...then I don't think I want him at all."

Mimi shook her head at me in disbelief. "That's not fair, Matt."

"You're right, it's not." I closed my locker and turned on my heel, walking away.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

The classes that morning dragged by. I kept glancing at Tai and looking away, then looking at Mimi and turning away when she gave me a look. It was beyond frustrating.

I went home at lunch and didn't go back to school. The school would call and leave a message about me skipping school in the evening, so I'd have to make up something to tell my dad.

Stretching out in my bed, I looked out my window. This had to end. It was hard to believe that one person could throw your whole life out of balance, but it was true. Then again, Tai wasn't just any person.

I groaned aloud. _Life sucks._

After a short while, I got up and went into the kitchen. I felt sick, but I was hungry at the same time.

All I could think about was Tai. I took out a bagel and began to cut it. I missed him so much...

"Ah! Fuck!" I hissed and dropped the knife, moving over to the sink and turning on the cold water. I stuck my finger under it, watching the blood mingle with the water before going down the drain.

I turned off the water and stared at the cut. The pain really hadn't been that bad. It was more the surprise that had shocked me. It was only a small slit in my finger, barely noticeable. It would heal in no time.

I came to the conclusion that I could stand physical pain much more than the emotional turmoil Tai was putting me through. My appetite had disappeared somewhat, and I put the bagel away. Then I picked up the knife to put it away too.

It had a bit of blood on it. I ran it under the water a bit, rinsing the red liquid from it. It washed away so easily.

The water still running, I ran my finger gently over the tip of the knife. It wasn't so sharp, really. It probably wouldn't have done such a good job of cutting the bagel anyway.

I let the blade graze my palm. No, it wasn't that dangerous. I'd have to press much harder than that to hurt myself. What was so threatening about a little knife anyway?

I moved the blade to my wrist, rubbing it slightly against the skin. Nothing happened. I applied a bit of pressure to the knife and drew it across my skin again.

There. A hint of red. I slowly moved the knife in the same path again, my breath hitching when my wrist began to sting. I dropped the knife into the sink and just looked at my wrist. I didn't know if I was imagining it or not, but I was starting to feel a bit faint and nauseous.

I ran to the bathroom and lifted the toilet seat, then proceeded to throw up even though I hadn't eaten anything the whole day. I looked into the toilet bowl to see a hint of red in the water. This didn't help the queasy feeling I had.

A short span of time later, I laid in my bed, eyes open and staring at nothing in particular. Absently, I traced the faint mark on my wrist with my finger. I didn't like the way my heart beat faster when I thought about it. I didn't like the fact that my mind was purposely recalling the way it had felt.

I changed into a long-sleeved shirt, tugging the sleeve down past my wrist with my fist. If my dad or anyone else noticed, they might get worried or something. It could pass for an accident if it wasn't such a definite, straight line. But it was.

I laid down again, curling into a ball. I could see the blade pressed against my flesh every time I closed my eyes. I could feel the sensation of the cool metal burning heat into my skin.

And I wanted to do it again.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I looked terrible.

It was that evening and I was standing in the bathroom, staring at myself. First of all, I was paler than usual. Second, the skin beneath my eyes was dark from how tired and stressed out I was. I had spent hours resisting the call of the kitchen while simultaneously fretting over Tai.

The phone had rung a few times and I'd ignored it. If it was Mimi, I didn't want to speak to her. If it was my dad, I didn't feel like explaining. Tai was out of the question. And if it was anyone else, it wasn't important or they could call back.

"I hate this," I whispered aloud, watching myself in the mirror. The more I looked at myself, the less I liked what I saw and the stronger the urge to become re-acquainted with the blade of-

I heard the front door slam and jumped, then quickly left the bathroom. I waited in the hallway as my dad checked the message from my school. He walked into the hall and took one look at me, then spoke.

"Go lay down."

I blinked in surprise. "...you're not mad?"

"It's obvious that you're not well. Go lay down in your bed."

My father went back into the kitchen and I stood there for a moment, then did as he said and curled up in bed. He entered my room a few minutes later, carrying a glass of water. He set it down on my nighttable.

"Yamato, are you alright?" he asked in concern.

I was silent.

"What's wrong?" my father asked me, genuinely worried.

I didn't see the point in lying and saying "nothing", so again I didn't respond.

"Are you sick?" my dad asked. "Do you think you'll be well enough to go to school tomorrow?"

I gave a wordless shrug.

There was a moment of silence, then my dad spoke in an uncomfortable tone.

"Yamato, have you been feeling... depressed, lately?"

_Way to be observant._

When I didn't answer, my dad continued.

"Yamato... do you want to maybe go and see a counselor?"

I looked at him, not believing my ears.

"You think I'm crazy," I said in disbelief.

"I don't think you're crazy," he protested. "I just think you need to get some things off your chest."

"I don't need a shrink," I said sharply.

"Yamato-"

"I'm fine, okay? Can you just get out!"

I wasn't just telling him to get out of my room. I was telling him to get out of my life. And he knew it.

I can't describe the look on my dad's face. He looked so... hurt. He looked at me for a moment, then bowed his head, stood up, and left my room. I heard his bedroom door shut a few seconds later.

That knife was beginning to look good again.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I knew I couldn't stay home from school. I would drive myself insane. Plus I'd have to tell my dad that I didn't want to go to school, which would initiate a conversation I didn't want to have.

I threw on a pair of pants and a shirt and left the house. I wasn't hungry, and I didn't dare enter the kitchen anyway.

Mimi pounced on me when she spotted me at my locker.

"Yamato Ishida, where have you been?" she demanded.

"At home," I responded plainly. "I wasn't feeling well."

"You have to face Tai sooner or later, you know."

"Hey, Mimi!"

I blinked and looked at who the voice had come from. It was a tall guy with curly tan hair and hazel eyes. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow at Mimi.

"Introduction?"

"Oh, you don't know Matt, do you? Matt, meet JT. JT, meet Matt."

"Name's Juro, but friends call me JT," Juro said.

I nodded, trying to look like I cared at least somewhat. "Hi."

"See you around," Juro said with a wink, then walked away.

When I turned back to my locker, Mimi was staring at me. I frowned.

"What?"

"I can't believe it!"

"Huh?"

"He was **so** hitting on you! You can't tell me you didn't notice!"

I shrugged and opened my locker. "I'm not interested."

"He's hot, friendly, and a senior! What is there not to be interested in! Come on! You can't mope around forever! Maybe you can make Tai jealous by dating JT!"

I shook my head. "That's just stupid."

I reached up to retrieve a book from my locker, and Mimi grabbed my arm.

"What happened to your wrist?"

My sleeve had risen with my movement and revealed the cut. Mimi's too observant for her own good. I pulled my arm back, scowling and feeling strangely defensive.

"Nothing. Leave me alone."

Mimi's eyes widened and she opened her mouth, no doubt to question me about the matter.

"I accidentally cut myself," I snapped.

"Matt..."

"I don't need you fucking scrutinizing me, Mimi!"

Mimi frowned and shook her head.

"Matt, this needs to be solved."

"Tell Tai that."

"I will." Mimi turned and walked away.

I looked at my wrist. It wasn't even that bad. It really could've been an accident.

Pushing all thoughts of sharp objects out of my head, I continued to gather my things. But in the back of my head, I could still see the knife sinking into my flesh.

That was it. I made the decision.

_Accidents happen..._

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I felt a little better as I walked into my first class. This time the line was more jagged and rough; it looked much less intentional. Even if it was right above the last one.

As I sat down in my seat, I put the pair of scissors back in my bag and waited for class to begin.

I blocked out everything and everyone around me until lunchtime rolled around. The plan I had was to just leave the school and wander aimlessly until it was time to come back. That way I wouldn't have to deal with anyone. Unfortunately, my plans were foiled when Mimi and Juro showed up at my locker.

"Hi, Matt!" Mimi said brightly. "JT and I were just heading to that pizza place down the street to get something to eat. Wanna come?"

I was tempted to just flat-out say no. Even if just to see the look on Juro's face. He looked so... smug. Probably because every other girl who passed him in the hall eagerly called out "Hi, JT!". He flashed them a "cool" smile and nodded, and they'd giggle to their friends.

"I'm not hungry," I said instead. I have no idea why I thought that would work.

"Oh, don't be silly!" Mimi grabbed my arm and forcefully dragged me down the hall.

Mimi and Juro chatted nonstop on the way, while I trailed behind them and didn't say a word. I thought many times about trying to sneak away while they were talking, but it was too risky.

After they got their food and we sat down, Juro spoke to me.

"Why aren't you eating?"

"I'm not hungry," I replied flatly.

"He's been kind of upset the past few days," Mimi jumped in. "His boyfriend dumped him."

The glare I shot Mimi was filled with venom. I knew she was trying to set me up with Juro, but I'd already told her I wasn't interested!

"What?" Juro looked at me in disbelief. "What idiot would dump a pretty thing like you?"

'A pretty thing like you'. Way to make me feel like an object and not a person.

"Why did he dump you?" Juro pressed when I didn't say anything.

I opened my mouth, intending on saying something that would either shut him up or scare him away or both, but Mimi cut in quickly.

"His boyfriend cheated on him and left Matt for the guy he cheated on him with."

"Man, that sucks. So, are you looking for a new boyfriend?"

I looked at Juro in disbelief.

"You two should go out sometime!" Mimi chirped. She proceeded to give Juro my number while I glared daggers at her.

By the end of lunch, I wasn't bothering to hide my dislike towards Juro. However, he didn't seem to notice. As he and Mimi left my locker when the bell rang, he winked at me.

"I'll talk to you tonight," he said, then walked away. A few girls were watching and they shot dirty looks at me, then began to whisper amongst themselves.

I began to contemplate ways of getting Mimi back.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

It was only a short time after I got home that the phone rang. I figured it couldn't be Juro calling so soon, so I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

Crap, it was him.

"Who is this?" I asked, smirking to myself.

There was a pause, as if he couldn't believe that I'd asked that.

"It's JT," he finally replied, sounding offended.

"Oh," I said, trying to sound bored.

Another pause. Then he spoke again.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me tonight."

He said it so casually, so confidently that I knew he wasn't expecting no for an answer.

"I'm busy," I said simply.

"...what?"

"I'm busy," I repeated. "Actually, I have to go now . Bye."

I hung up, glad I'd dealt with that situation. Then I went into the living room and curled up on the couch, turning on the TV beginning to flip through channels.

I stopped at a talk show that looked like it could be interesting. After a moment, I realized they were talking about gay couples and changed the channel with a frown. The next thing I landed on was some old romance movie. I flipped to a music channel and 'I'm Not Okay' by My Chemical Romance was playing. That was when I decided to turn off the TV.

Without meaning to, I ended up in the kitchen. Moments later I had a knife in my hand. I didn't remember moving or taking out the knife, but there I was.

I looked down at my wrist, which just encouraged me more. Slowly, I pressed the blade against my flesh.

The phone rang and the knife slipped, cutting my skin deeper than I'd intended. I hissed and grabbed a paper towel, holding it over my wrist. With my other hand, I picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Yamato Ishida, how could you!"

I let out a frustrated sigh. "Mimi, what do you want?"

"You told Juro you were busy!" she exclaimed.

"I am," I said irritably.

"Matt-"

"I don't want anything to do with that idiot, okay? Stop trying to fucking interfere in my love life, Mimi!"

I slammed down the phone and felt guilty. I knew I was taking out all my anger on Mimi, when she was only trying to help. But she wasn't making the situation any better.

I threw the bloody paper towels in the garbage and eyed the knife again. Then I looked down at my still-bleeding wrist and went to the bathroom to clean it off.

Once I'd tended to my cut, I went to my bedroom and turned on my computer. Once it started up, I instinctively began to sign onto an instant message program, then quickly stopped myself. Mimi and Tai would probably be online, and that wasn't good.

Instead, I searched on the internet for just a regular chat room. All I really wanted was to entertain myself, and there was always something or someone amusing in a chat room.

I entered a chat room with the screen name 'PrisnrOfToday'. Luckily the chat room wasn't one where twelve year-old kids flooded the screen to make sure you knew how horny they were; it was actually a decent chat room. There was also a spot where you could state your gender, location, age, etc., and put a picture of yourself. I didn't enter in most of the information, obviously, but found a picture of me that I liked-Mimi called it one of my "sexy" pictures-and uploaded it to the spot.

A guy by the screen name of 'AsylumRunaway' invited me into a private conversation. Curious, I accepted.

_**AsylumRunaway: Hey, what's up?**_

_PrisnrOfToday: Nothing, you?_

_**AsylumRunaway: Nothing. So, you got a name?**_

_PrisnrOfToday: Not that I'm gonna tell._

_**AsylumRunaway: I see. Same here. Can I ask how old you are?**_

...I could pass for sixteen in that picture.

_PrisnrOfToday: Sixteen. You?_

_**AsylumRunaway: Sixteen. That's cool. You telling the truth?**_

_PrisnrOfToday: If I wasn't, would I tell you anyway?_

_**AsylumRunaway: Good point.**_

I didn't say anything to that, and received another message a few moments later.

_**AsylumRunaway: You look really hot in that picture.**_

_PrisnrOfToday: Thanks. Why don't you have a picture of yourself?_

_**AsylumRunaway: I can't find one I like enough. Besides, I don't think it's the best idea to post a picture of yourself up where just anyone can access it.**_

I felt my face heating up in embarrassment. Damn. It was too late now, though.

_**AsylumRunaway: So, are you into guys or girls? Or both?**_

I blinked in surprise at his boldness, then hesitated. I wasn't straight. I didn't think I was bi. But was I gay? I wasn't sure about that either.

_PrisnrOfToday: Um... I don't know._

_**AsylumRunaway: In denial?**_

_PrisnrOfToday: No, I just really don't know._

_**AsylumRunaway: How can you not know?**_

I thought about which of the three I would most likely be labelled. I didn't feel attracted to girls, but I didn't necessarily feel attracted to guys either... I just felt attracted to Tai. But then again, Tai was a guy.

_PrisnrOfToday: ...fine, I'm gay._

_**AsylumRunaway: Cool. I'm bi.**_

_PrisnrOfToday: Oh. Cool, I guess._

And I guess it was time to start calling myself gay.

_**AsylumRunaway: So how far have you gone with a guy?**_

I didn't think it would be very wise to say I hadn't even had my first kiss yet.

_PrisnrOfToday: Far enough._

_**AsylumRunaway: You still a virgin?**_

I contemplated lying, but then I'd just come off as a slut.

_PrisnrOfToday: Yeah. You?_

_**AsylumRunaway: Yeah. So... let me tell you about a fantasy I had about this guy I like.**_

It was kind of random, but whatever. I was curious.

_PrisnrOfToday: Okay._

_**AsylumRunaway: It started off at my place. No one was home but us. We were just hanging out like we always did. Then we got hungry so we went to get some food in the kitchen. While we were there, the guy spilled some ice cream on his hand. I started licking it off.**_

I could see where this was heading.

_**AsylumRunaway: Then we started kissing. We were making out and took off our tops and he got out some chocolate syrup and poured it on my chest, then started licking it off of me. We were both really horny by then, and pretty hard too. So he pulled down my pants and my boxers and poured more syrup on me, then got to his knees and started licking and sucking it off.**_

I was getting pretty hard myself at that point. I bit my lip and let my hand linger between my legs, eyes fixed on the screen yet mind off somewhere else.

_**AsylumRunaway: I took his pants off too and we got on top of the counter and finished off the rest of the syrup, then licked each other completely clean. Then we went to my bedroom. When we got there, a pair of handcuffs and rope were laying on the bed.**_

This was getting very, very, kinky. I had freed my erection from the confinements of my pants and was stroking it as the story unfolded in my head.

_**AsylumRunaway: I handcuffed his hands together and tied him to my headboard. Then I went over his body with my tongue again. I gave him a blowjob and he came in my mouth with the hottest moan ever, then I turned him over.**_

The intensity of my rubbing had increased rapidly.

_**AsylumRunaway: I took some frosting and coated my fingers with it, then started stretching him out. When I figured he was ready, I coated myself with it too and then inserted myself into him. Then I started thrusting into him and he moaned my name and kept saying "harder" and "faster" and just moaning in general... and I fucked him hard and then came inside of him.**_

I reached my climax and groaned aloud, the liquid spilling onto my hand. Recovering from my pleasure-induced state, I quickly went to the bathroom and cleaned myself off. When I got back, the guy I was talking to had just finished typing another message.

_**AsylumRunaway: The dream was better, of course, but that feel pretty damn good just now.**_

_PrisnrOfToday: It felt good for me too._

_**AsylumRunaway: Glad to hear that. I'm sure phone sex would be even more effective.**_

I may put a picture of myself on the internet for everyone to see, but I'm not stupid enough to give out my phone number.

_PrisnrOfToday: Actually, I've gotta go. Maybe I'll find you again sometime?_

_**AsylumRunaway: Maybe. Nice doing business with you.**_

_PrisnrOfToday: Bye._

I signed off and got up from my chair, feeling less tense and more relaxed than I had before. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to take that guy up on his offer someday. It wasn't like Tai wanted me anyway.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**


	4. Four

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Digimon, Yama, Tai, or anything, really. I own imaginary Yama & Tai plushies though!

**Tip the Scales:  
Chapter Four**  
by: neo-chan

A few hours later, I was regretting what I'd done. Well, kind of. Part of me felt guilty and idiotic-what would Tai think if he ever found out?-and another part of me wanted to go back online and maybe ask the guy for his number. But I didn't. I knew I was just craving attention because I was receiving none from Tai.

"I'm so pathetic," I muttered, sitting on my bed and looking out the window. I dragged my nails down the flesh on my opposite arm, sinking them in and wondering how deep I'd have to go to break the skin. My nails probably weren't sharp enough.

My dad came home and didn't attempt to speak to me. I felt bad, but I didn't try to apologize. If I did he'd probably expect me to tell him about what was happening, and there was no way I wanted to do that.

When I woke up for school the next morning, I was in a pretty bad mood. I was tired-I'd barely slept the night before; instead I'd involuntarily spent the night laying awake and thinking of Tai. I threw on the first clothing I could find and headed for school without so much as stopping by the kitchen to even **think** about eating... or anything else.

"Two more days 'til the weekend," I muttered as I walked up to the school, "then you're saved for a couple of days. The problem is **surviving** these last days..."

When I reached my locker I took out the books I needed and put them in my bag, then slammed the locker shut and slumped to the floor with my knees to my chest. I dropped my head onto my knees, praying for the bell to ring already so the day could start; the sooner it started, the sooner it would end.

"Hey," someone said, and I looked up so see who. I wished I hadn't when I saw Juro standing there.

I stared at him blankly. "What do you want?"

Juro blinked, looking surprised. "Uh... to say hi?" He glanced around out of the corner of his eye as if to make sure no one had witnessed him lose his cool for even a second.

"Well, you did. Bye." I rested my head back on my knees.

Luckily Juro took the hint and left. When the bell rang and I got up, I saw him talking to a bunch of girls down the hall and rolled my eyes.

"It's Thursday," I reminded myself as I headed down the hall. "Today and tomorrow, and you're done. You can do this."

I could only hope that the day would pass by quickly and painlessly.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I doodled absentmindedly in my notebook, completely blocking out the teacher's voice. In my head, lyrics of songs floated around, leaving my mind as quick as they'd entered. I slouched, resting my head on my arms, and closed my eyes briefly. The teacher wouldn't notice if I rested my eyes for a bit...

"Mr. Ishida!"

I shot up to a sitting position, groaning inwardly. I couldn't even remember the point that at which I'd fallen asleep. I then noticed that the bell had rung signaling the end of class and half of the students were already out of the room. The teacher glared at me.

"I'd like to speak with you."

Muttering a curse under my breath, I dumped my things in my bag and walked up to her desk. She folded her arms, frowning.

"Do you think my class is boring, Mr. Ishida?"

"No," I answered obediently.

"Do you think my class is naptime?"

"No," I repeated.

"Did you think I wouldn't catch you?"

I shrugged, which made her even angrier.

"Detention after school, Mr. Ishida. And don't you **dare** think of sleeping then. I'll personally see to it that you don't."

I was late for my next class because of the little chat, and my second teacher assigned me another detention. Which meant I'd be staying after school for a while and wouldn't be able to just go home and wait for Friday to come and pass.

By the time lunch rolled around, I was in an extremely bad mood. I had thought briefly about skipping detention, but I'd only get in worse trouble and piss off my dad. Then he'd probably tell my mom, and that was never good.

"Fuck my stupid life," I grumbled aloud, yanking my locker open.

"Whoa!" came a voice, and I turned to see that I'd almost whacked Daisuke in the face with my locker door.

"Sorry," I said half-heartedly.

"Not in a good mood, are you?"

"How did you know?" My voice was laced with sarcasm.

Daisuke shifted uncomfortably. "So... what's up?"

I snorted. "You mean, what's up between me and Tai."

"Well..." he shrugged. "Yeah. What happened between you two? Tai's been moping around since your fight-or whatever it was-, and I actually beat him in a soccer game the other day! What did you **do** to him?"

"**I **didn't do **anything**," I snapped, slamming my locker shut and facing Daisuke. "Why don't you fucking ask **him** what happened?"

Daisuke backed away, holding his hands up in defense. "Whoa, sorry, calm down! I was just asking."

"Yeah, well, I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Okay, okay. See you later."

Daisuke left and I let out a heavy, frustrated sigh, trying to ignore the throbbing headache that had developed. With a groan, I shook my head.

"Life is a bitch."

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I kicked angrily at a rock as I walked home after school- after my three detentions, that is. I got the third one because I talked back to a teacher. I was cursing the whole way home. There way no way I'd be able to explain coming home so late to my dad without telling him about the detentions; he knew something was wrong between me and Tai and he knew I wasn't involved in any extracurricular activities. Plus the school had probably phoned to tell him about my "behaviour problem". Then again, maybe he wouldn't be home yet.

As I approached the door to my apartment, I listened carefully for any noise coming from inside. I couldn't hear anything. Holding my breath, I unlocked the door and pushed it open. The house was silent.

I breathed a sigh of relief and locked the door behind me, then went to put my bag in my room.

"Where were you?"

Halfway down the hall, I was startled my by father's voice. I turned around to see him standing there with a frown on his face and his arms folded.

There was no point in trying to make up an alibi. "...in detention."

"For this long?"

"...three detentions."

When I looked up, my father was furious.

"**Three**! What is wrong with you? I do not appreciate the way you've been acting lately!"

I walked away from him and into my room, closing and locking the door behind me.

"Yamato!" my father yelled through the door. "I will **not** tolerate disrespect from you! You're grounded for a week!"

"Whatever," I muttered, not caring if he heard me or not.

"And that means no computer, TV, or phone either!"

I snorted. How did he think he was going to stop me? I was already in my room with the computer right in front of me. And what would he do while he was at work? He couldn't stop me. And it wasn't like I had anywhere to go since I wasn't on speaking terms with Tai, so being 'grounded' had no effect.

I sat down at my computer right then and there, partially just to spite my father. After a moment's hesitation, I searched for the chat room I'd been in before. I found it and signed in with the same name, then scanned the list of users. The same guy was on again, and he messaged me almost instantly.

_**AsylumRunaway: Hey again.**_

_PrisnrOfToday: Hey. My dad just grounded me for a week._

_**AsylumRunaway: What'd you do?**_

_PrisnrOfToday: Got three detentions today._

_**AsylumRunaway: Wow. You almost broke my record.**_

_PrisnrOfToday: He said I'm not allowed on the phone or computer and I'm not allowed to watch TV, but obviously he's not enforcing those rules enough._

_**AsylumRunaway: Haha, obviously not.**_

_PrisnrOfToday: So..._

_**AsylumRunaway: So...**_

_**AsylumRunaway: What's your number?**_

I stared at his question, the two sides of me battling it out in my head. I started typing my number, then stopped. Then I started again, then stopped and bit my lip. Quickly, before temptation could strike harder, I typed an excuse.

_PrisnrOfToday: Actually, I've gotta go- I think my dad found out I'm on here._

_**AsylumRunaway: I'll talk to you again sometime, then.**_

_PrisnrOfToday: Maybe. Bye._

I signed off, relieved that I hadn't given him my number. The internet was a crazy place; I could've put myself in potential danger just because I couldn't resist the call of my urges.

Heaving myself onto my bed, I buried my face in my pillow. I was starting to miss Tai more and more.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

"Thank God it's Friday!" I cried out when I entered school the next morning. A few people looked at me strangely, but then mumbled in agreement.

When I got to my locker, I swung it open and jumped back when a few of my books tumbled out. I shut my eyes and groaned. That wasn't exactly a good omen.

Muttering a curse, I stooped down and began collecting my books. Shoving them back in my locker, I grabbed the ones I needed and stuffed them in my bag, then shut my locker. At the same time, someone grabbed my arm. Instinctively I pulled it away and turned around.

"Oh. Hi," I said to the pink-haired girl standing before me.

"I hope you're happy." Mimi was frowning. "JT thinks you're-and I quote-'an emo bitch with attitude problems'."

"And what? You agreed?"

Mimi gave me a look. "No. But I do want to know why you're being so difficult."

I crossed my arms over my chest, staring somewhere over her left shoulder.

"Matt, you have no idea how Tai feels about all this."

"Yes I do! He thinks I'm over-reacting and that it's no big deal that he's suddenly decided I'm not good enough to be in a relationship with him!"

"You know he doesn't think that-"

"Then why the fuck doesn't he want me?"

"He does!"

"Well, he has a fucked-up way of showing it."

Mimi slapped me and I was tempted to slap her back. I settled for glaring at her as hard as I could. Then accidentally let one of my thoughts slip out.

"Why are you being such a bitch!"

She slapped me again, harder this time. She looked furious and outraged, and a bunch of people in the hall were staring at that point.

"I don't know what's come over you, Yamato Ishida, but I don't like it."

Mimi turned on her heel and stormed away.

I rubbed my cheek and scowled.

"Just remember, it's Friday..."

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I didn't pay attention in any of my classes, and I was pretty rude to a few of my teachers. But luck was on my side-at least somewhat-because I didn't get any detentions. When school ended, I was so relieved that the day was over and I was "saved" that I forgot I wasn't out of school just yet.

"Hey."

I jumped when I heard the voice, instantly recognizing it, then turned slowly and stared in the chocolate-coloured eyes that I'd been missing so much.

I didn't speak, mainly because 1) I was caught off-guard and 2) I didn't know what to say. When he didn't say anything either, I turned back around and attempted to finish putting my books in my bag. Unfortunately, I had developed a sudden case of clumsiness and dropped half of them on the floor.

Before it even registered, Tai was picking up my books. He handed them to me and I took them, shivering slightly as our hands brushed.

"Thanks," I murmured, then allowed my eyes to meet his.

Bad idea. Once I looked, I couldn't tear my eyes away. Tai's eyes held mine in a firm gaze for what felt like several minutes. Finally he spoke, softly.

"I miss you, Yama."

This broke me out of my daze and I turned back to my locker, putting the rest of the things in my bag and then closing the locker door when I was finished. Tai watched me as if he was waiting for me to say some magic words.

But I didn't dare to say anything. I didn't want to say the wrong thing, and I was afraid I'd end up saying something completely stupid or something that would just drive us deeper into the mess.

"I know you don't want to talk to me," Tai eventually said, "but we need to. Talk, that is."

I nodded, still not opening my mouth.

"That's a yes, right?"

I nodded again.

"Alright, good. Come to my place? Or, if you want, we can just talk here."

With a shake of my head, I finally spoke.

"Your house is fine."

"Okay." Tai lightly touched my arm, giving me the gentlest of tugs. "Let's go."

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

We didn't talk on the way there, and no one was home when we got to Tai's house. Which was good because we'd have privacy... especially if we started fighting again.

"Want anything?" Tai asked, gesturing towards the kitchen. I shook my head and we went into his bedroom. It was so routine, yet so awkward in a way since we still hadn't resolved anything.

Tai sat down at his desk and turned the chair to face the bed, where he motioned for me to sit down. I did and we both sat there, waiting for each other to speak first.

Finally Tai broke the silence.

"So..."

I fiddled with a thread, not looking up.

"You still mad at me?"

I hesitated before answering.

"...yeah. Kind of." I lifted my head to see his reaction.

Tai nodded. "Makes sense. Listen, I'm sorry for being so harsh. Insensitive, if you want to call it that. I know it sucks to be rejected. But you can't expect me to just wait around and then rejoice when you're ready to do something."

I didn't say anything.

"And I'm really sorry for hitting you. That was just... I was an ass. It was stupid of me. And I'm not trying to justify my actions, but ignoring me while I was trying to talk to you was pretty stupid, too."

Silence, then he went on.

"Basically, we're both at fault here. And fighting for this long about something that was blown so badly out of proportion... well, it's got to end. Besides, I'm crazy about you." Tai gave me a crooked grin. "You know that."

I couldn't help but smile, at least a bit.

"So what do you say?" Tai asked, raising en eyebrow. "Truce?"

After barely a moment's hesitation, I nodded.

"Good." He stood up and opened his arms, grinning. "Hug?"

I let out a little laugh, getting off the bed and wrapping my arms around Tai in a hug. He embraced me tightly.

"I'm sorry," I murmured finally, voice slightly muffled by his shirt.

Tai gave my back a little rub as if to let me know the apology was accepted, then pressed a kiss to my cheek and loosened the hug.

I met his eyes, not sure what to think, and he offered a smile.

"If you still want a relationship, so do I."

My heart leapt into my throat, and I couldn't stop a smile from working its way across my face.

"Are you serious?" I studied his face for any sign of insincerity.

Tai nodded. "Dead serious."

"...really?"

Tai chuckled. "Yes, really."

I practically pounced on him, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. Tai caught me, laughing, and I kissed his cheek.

"What made you change your mind?" I asked him happily.

"The fact that you drive me absolutely crazy and I couldn't stop thinking about you for one second while we were fighting." Tai paused and his gaze flickered briefly to my lips. He met my eyes again and added, "And the fact that I want to kiss you all the time."

My heart did a flip and I let out a little nervous laugh that was actually more like a giggle.

"Can I?" Tai asked, waiting for my permission.

I swallowed nervously, but nodded. My heart was pounding and I worried that I wouldn't know what to do and that he wouldn't like kissing me and-

Tai's lips met mine. I froze at first, then after a moment I timidly moved my lips against his. He chuckled slightly against my mouth before pulling away.

"Was that your first kiss?" he asked.

Blushing deeply, I nodded.

"Want to try that again?" He grinned.

I felt my face heat up more, but I nodded again.

"Okay." He patted my thigh lightly, and I moved my legs from around his waist so he could put me down. "Don't be so scared. It's just me."

"But I don't know how to..." I trailed off, feeling embarrassed.

"Don't worry. I like you because you're you, not because of how you kiss." Tai rested one hand on the side of my face and leaned in, gently tilting my head in the opposite direction of his as he got closer.

Our lips touched and I closed my eyes instinctively. I waited for Tai to initiate the next movement, but instead he pulled away and poked my lips with his finger. I opened my eyes.

"Don't press your lips so tightly together," he told me. "Relax. Keep them parted a bit. 'Kay?"

I nodded slightly and Tai leaned back in, pressing his lips against mine again. I kept in mind what Tai had said and he was apparently satisfied because he didn't give any further corrections. Instead he moved back the slightest bit and then in again, barely breaking the kiss before he kissed me once more. I had begun to relax a bit when I felt something slippery in my mouth.

Startled, I moved back from Tai. I blinked a few times before it slowly began to dawn on me.

"Was that..."

"My tongue," Tai finished dryly.

My face burned with humiliation.

"Sorry," I whispered, feeling like an idiot.

Tai shook his head, letting me know an apology wasn't needed, then bent down again and took my lips into yet another kiss. I tried to mimic his actions and kiss him back, and this time I let him slip his tongue into my mouth. It occurred to me that I should probably move my tongue too, since I felt stupid just letting it sit there, so I let it run along Tai's tongue lightly. This continued for several seconds before Tai removed his tongue from my mouth and pressed one last kiss to my lips.

"How'd that feel?" he questioned me, smiling.

"...weird," I said, for lack of a better word.

He laughed.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I left soon after that, in case my dad got home and found that I wasn't in the house. After all, I was still grounded. Which meant he couldn't catch me on the computer, watching TV, on the phone, or out of the house.

Tai took the elevator with me to the seventh floor and walked me to my door, where he gave me a kiss goodbye on the cheek and told me he'd see me tomorrow. Of course, when I got inside my apartment, the first thing I wanted to do was call Mimi-despite however angry I'd been at her or however angry she was at me-and tell her what had happened. And my dad wasn't home yet, so...

"Hello?" came Mimi's voice over the phone.

"Hi, Mimi."

"...you sound happy."

"I am. Mimi, I'm sorry about... y'know, everything."

"...I'll forgive you because I'm curious. Did you and Tai make up?"

"We didn't just make up; he told me he does want a relationship. And then he kissed me."

Mimi squealed, which made me grin. "You kissed already! I can't believe it! I'm so happy for you two!"

After Mimi made me tell her the full story in detail, we got off the phone. I sat there smiling to myself. I couldn't believe it, either. I must've looked like an idiot, sitting there and grinning, but I didn't care. I was home alone anyway.

Just then the phone rang and snapped me out of my daze. I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey."

It was Tai.

"Hi," I said happily, then remembered that I was grounded... and that he knew. "Tai, I'm grounded, remember?"

"I know, I'm sorry. But we never really got to catch up on things. Your dad won't be home for awhile anyway... and you never told me why you're grounded in the first place."

"I got three detentions after school."

"Ouch, that's not good. You almost beat my record!"

That made me pause. Where had I heard that before?

"Your dad's not enforcing your grounding sentence very well," Tai said with a laugh.

"I know. So, did your parents and Kari come home?" I asked him, changing the subject.

"Yeah. Kari's on the computer. I think she's mad at me; she asked me how to upload some picture onto some site, but I wouldn't tell her. I don't think it's a good idea to post a picture of yourself up on the internet where anyone can see and access it."

I froze and didn't speak for several seconds.

"Something wrong?" Tai sounded slightly amused.

"Tai..." I felt heat rising into my face. "Was that..."

"Me? Mmhm."

"...oh God." I was embarrassed beyond belief.

"Last time I checked, you weren't sixteen."

"Well, neither are you! Your birthday's not for another month!"

"You told me you've gone 'far enough' with a guy."

"I didn't want to sound like... like... wait, you knew it was me! You asshole! You asked for my number so you could-"

"-see if you would actually give it to some random guy? Yeah, that's pretty much what I was doing."

"That's not fair!"

"All's fair in love and... chatting."

I wanted to slap myself. I was such an idiot. Tai probably thought I was-...wait a minute.

"So, wait... was that... who was that whole 'fantasy' about?"

"Who do you think?"

I felt heat in my face, thinking back to the story.

"...you're a kinky bastard."

"Mmhm. And you're gay, apparently."

"...I don't know. I guess so."

"Doesn't matter. You like me, I like you. Simple. But hey, question."

"What?"

"Did you really jack off when I told you about that dream?"

"...yes," I muttered.

"Me too."

To end the awkwardness on my part, I told Tai that I had to go in case my dad got home. He let me go and I was relieved.

"I can't believe that was Tai," I said aloud, groaning. Feeling my stomach growl-I hadn't eaten anything yet that day-, I got up and went into the kitchen, shaking my head as I thought about our wonderful(note the sarcasm) online conversation.

I had poured a bowl of cereal and opened the kitchen drawer with the utensils in it when I stopped suddenly. I stared at the knives in the drawer, separated from the spoons by only a stack of forks.

_Why are you even thinking about it?_ I questioned myself. _You're with Tai now._

But I still had the urge. And it was hard to resist when I recalled how little it had hurt... and how satisfying it had felt when it **did** hurt.

The lock on the front door clicked and I jumped, then quickly grabbed a spoon and shut the drawer. When my dad walked in, I had moved to the living room and was sitting on the couch eating my cereal.

"Hi, Dad," I said, and heard him physically stop in his tracks.

"...hello, Yamato," he replied, sounding confused.

I took that moment to turn around and look at him. "I'm sorry," I said.

He blinked in surprise.

"Tai and I were in this stupid fight, and I was getting mad at everyone because I was frustrated about it. I didn't mean to snap at you the other day."

My father looked like a load had been lifted from his shoulders.

"I understand. Thank you for the apology, Yamato."

I waited anxiously.

"...and I don't think the grounding sentence is necessary."

_Yes!_ I grinned. "Thanks, Dad."

After I'd finished eating I went in my room, closed the door, and called Tai. He picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi!"

"Hey!" Tai sounded surprised. "I'm guessing you talked to your dad?"

"I did, and he lifted the sentence. Wanna do something tomorrow?"

"Of course. How about I come to your place and we hang out? Maybe rent a movie or something?"

"Sounds good."

That night I slept better than I had since the whole stupid mess had started. I was so glad it was over.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**

My dad left a note in the kitchen on Saturday saying that he'd gone to work and would probably be there later than usual to meet some deadlines. Which worked to mine and Tai's advantage.

I checked myself in the mirror several times before Tai came over, and it was lucky I did or I would've been in trouble. I was wearing tight jeans and a a dark blue short-sleeved shirt, and it was only when I looked in the mirror that I realized I had to wear something with long sleeves. If I didn't, Tai was bound to discover the few cuts on my wrist and then I would have to explain. So I changed and put a white long-sleeved shirt underneath my t-shirt.

When Tai arrived at around 4:30, he greeted me with a kiss. It was actually directed towards my cheek, but at the last second I turned my head so that his lips met mine. Tai raised an eyebrow at me when the kiss was broken, looking surprised.

"I want to practice," I explained with a blush.

Tai grinned. "I can definitely help you with that."

We made ourselves comfortable on the couch, sitting relatively close and flipping through the TV channels to see if anything was on. After a while, we found something decent to watch.

I discreetly inched closer to Tai, moving close enough so that our legs were touching. I apparently wasn't discreet enough because he chuckled lightly and draped an arm around my shoulders, giving me a little squeeze. We continued to watch TV in silence, but my mind wasn't on the program.

My mind was instead focused on trying to get Tai to initiate some sort of kiss. I still wasn't confident enough to be the one to start the kiss, so I had to wait for him to do it. However, I wanted it to happen soon. So I rested my head on Tai's shoulder and slid my hand into his, trying to use small hints to let him know that I wanted him to kiss me. I didn't know if they were the right hints, but it was worth a try.

Tai smiled at me, but didn't make any move to kiss me. I decided that maybe I needed to be a bit bolder and pressed my lips gently to his neck.

Looking slightly amused, Tai raised an eyebrow at me. His gaze made my face feel hot and I guessed that I was blushing.

"Kiss me," I whispered. I didn't even realize the words were forming until they came out, and my face heated up a lot more. Tai didn't seem to mind, though, and smiled before leaning down and meeting my lips in a kiss.

The kiss was slow and chaste, and it turned into a series of small kisses that left me feeling... giddy, for lack of a better word.

"You've got nothing to worry about," Tai said with a smile, brushing his thumb over my lips. "You're catching on perfectly."

"Really?"

"Mmhm." Tai let his forehead rest against mine, making my breath quicken from how close he was to me. "Wanna try frenching?"

My face was still hot, and I wondered how red it really was. "Didn't we try it yesterday?"

"Yeah, but that was just a demonstration." Tai's hand was gliding up and down my back, and I shivered slightly. He smiled and waited for my answer.

I nodded slowly. "Okay."

Tai closed the gap between us in a kiss, waiting for a few moments before lightly prodding my mouth open with his tongue. I complied and his tongue found mine almost instantly, running over it in an extremely sensual way. My stomach tightened and as Tai's tongue maneuvered itself in a certain way, something between a moan and a whimper escaped my lips. Tai didn't break the kiss, continuing to explore my mouth with his tongue. Arousal was already beginning to bubble inside of me and I was beginning to feel very lightheaded... I needed air.

I put my hand on Tai's shoulder and pushed very lightly, but enough to hint that I wanted to stop. Tai ended the kiss and peered at me as I tried to shake off my daze and catch my breath.

"You okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "Just a bit dizzy."

"Okay." Tai planted a kiss on my cheek and leaned back, placing his arm back around my shoulders. I resumed my former position also, resting against Tai with my head on his shoulder. In my mind, the kiss we'd just shared replayed over and over. It had felt so passionate and intense. No wonder people made such a big deal out of kissing.

Tai and I hung out for several hours and ended up watching a movie. We didn't share another kiss like that, but we did share quite a few smaller ones. When it came time for Tai to leave, I was disappointed to see him go even though I knew we'd see each other on Monday. There was even a good chance we'd see each other on Sunday.

"Night, Yama," Tai said, standing in the doorway. He bent down and gave me a short kiss, smiling when it was broken. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Good night."

Tai gave my hand a little squeeze, then left. I watched him walk down the hall, then shut the door and sighed happily. It may have been the worst week of my life, but just that one kiss had made up for it.

I couldn't wait to see Tai again.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXx**


	5. Five

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not have claim over Digimon, Tai, Yama, or... anything, really.

**Tip the Scales:  
Chapter Five**  
by: neo-chan

I wanted to see Tai on Sunday, but he was busy. I knew he would've been over in a flash if he wasn't. On Monday morning he came by my house to walk with me to school. My dad was just leaving and Tai waited until he was actually gone to do any boyfriend-like gestures. I think he was afraid my dad would say something.

On the way to school, Tai and I discussed an important issue; whether to keep our relationship a secret or not. Obviously Mimi knew, and she'd probably told some of our other friends, but we decided that we might not want the people at school to know yet. So we made a deal not to do any couple-like things while we were at school or in very public places. Which wouldn't be easy or any fun. But if we didn't want to deal with any hardships at first, it had to be that way.

The first person I encountered in the halls after Tai had left me to go to his locker was Mimi, who nearly foiled mine and Tai's plan.

"Matt!" She practically pounced on me the second she saw me. "I am sooo excited for you and-"

"Shh!"

Luckily I'd cut her off in time and she blinked at me, confused.

I spoke in a low voice. "We sort of decided to keep it, you know, a secret for now."

"Ohh." Mimi nodded. "Okay. Well I told Dai, Sora, Jyou and Kou already. I mean, you didn't **really** expect me to keep it all to myself, did you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course not. Just tell them not to spread it around, okay?"

"Okay." Mimi squeezed my arm, beaming. "I'm so happy for you guys!"

I blushed, sort of embarrassed at the attention. "Thanks."

"Oh- here comes the other lucky boy now!" Mimi winked at me and disappeared from sight.

Someone put their arm around my shoulder and I turned to look. Of course, it was Tai.

"Hey," he said, smiling.

"Hey," I echoed. "Mimi was congratulating me."

Tai laughed. "Yeah, I ran into Sora and she was congratulating me too. I told her to keep it quiet."

"I told Mimi that too. She told Dai, Jyou, and Kou about us. I doubt they'd say anything though. Dai's got a big mouth sometimes, but who's he gonna tell?"

"Yeah. I think the hardest part is gonna be refraining from acting how I want to." Tai squeezed my shoulders. "I really want to kiss you right now."

I blushed. Tai glanced around and upon finding that there wasn't really anyone in the hall, he gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

"I think that's as close as I'm gonna get for now." Tai gave me a little grin. "I guess I'll just have to come over after school."

The bell rang then and we had to get to class. In all my classes, I daydreamed about what would happen after school. Luckily I didn't get caught staring off into space. Getting detention after school would've crushed all of my daydreams.

At lunch we told Koushiro, Jyou, and Daisuke not to tell anyone about Tai and I. We also received a surprising confession from Jyou.

"I've got something I want to admit to," Jyou started off saying.

"What is it?" Mimi asked.

"Well... for the past few weeks or so, I've been engaging in a... secret relationship."

"With who?" Daisuke wanted to know.

"That's the thing." Jyou paused and we waited. And waited.

"Well?" Tai finally prompted.

"It's someone you know."

"Just say it already!" Daisuke exclaimed.

"Alright!" Jyou looked at all of us. "Shiro and I have been going out."

The biggest shock wasn't that they were together, or that they were gay, it was that we hadn't noticed. We all just stared for a while. It really was unexpected, though it shouldn't have been now that I thought about it; they did seem like a good match for each other.

Koushiro was blushing and looking down at his lap and Jyou was waiting for some sort of answer from us. Mimi was the first to say anything.

"That is so cute!"

Sora agreed with her and soon they were questioning the boys on things like when they hooked up, how they did it, why they kept it secret, etc. Us guys just rolled our eyes at each other and conveyed our acceptance by simple gestures.

So Tai and I weren't the only gay couple in our little circle of friends. And the only person who wasn't going out with anyone was Sora. No doubt Mimi would take care of that, however; she loves hooking people up. I just hoped she didn't try to set Sora up with someone like Juro.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

The days flew by blissfully and by the time our relationship hit the two-week point, I'd grown a lot more comfortable with the whole kissing situation and couldn't believe that my first kiss had been just two weeks before. Tai and I were making up for lost time, though, that was for sure.

Tai and I alternated between going to each other's houses. We were at one house or the other almost every day, whether we were just hanging out like friends(this happened most of the time at Tai's house because his parents and Kari were more likely to be home) or doing more boyfriend-like stuff. It had been about two and a half weeks on one particular day when we went to my place after school.

When we arrived at my apartment, my dad was still at work and would be for a couple more hours. The moment after we stepped inside and I locked the door, Tai kissed me.

"I've been wanting to do that all day," he said with a shake of his head. He tugged me gently by my hand towards my bedroom. "Come on."

I immediately felt nervous. Tai and I had kept our activities, which consisted mostly of kissing and mild making out, confined to the living rooms of both our apartments. It was sort of annoying, since we had to make sure no one was going to be around to catch us, but it was a comfortable setting with no pressure.

Tai pulled me into my room and shut the door, making my nerves even worse. I didn't show it, however, and we sat down on my bed and began to kiss. The kisses became very passionate, and went on for several minutes before Tai began caressing me and intensifying our kisses even more. One hand was placed on my waist and his other hand glided over my leg, stroking my thigh lightly. When Tai broke our kiss, he pushed on my shoulder gently and I blinked at him, confused. He chuckled softly and then exerted a little more force, lowering me to a laying position.

Tai's lips moved to my neck and he kissed the skin before sucking on it gently. I swallowed, my throat dry, and tried not to think about the fact that he was laying on top of me on my bed with the room door shut.

"Nervous?" Tai murmured, running a hand down my spine.

I nodded wordlessly, pulse racing as Tai slowly began to lift up my shirt.

"Don't worry," Tai said. "Just tell me when you want to stop."

Slowly, inch by inch, my stomach and chest were exposed until Tai had pulled my shirt over my head and was running a hand over my body, gazing at it in a way that made me blush. He bent down and kissed my collarbone, then began trailing kisses down my chest and across my stomach. I bit my lip, closing my eyes and feeling the blood rush down to my groin.

Tai's lips left my stomach and a moment later, they were placed on my lips. His tongue entered my mouth and I was so distracted by the kiss that I didn't realize where Tai's hand was traveling.

I gasped into Tai's mouth when his hand maneuvered itself between my legs. I broke away from the kiss and opened my eyes to meet Tai's. His other hand moved to stroke my hair and he kissed me again, softly, then spoke.

"Can I touch you?"

My heart jumped. I didn't know what to say, and my hesitance was obvious. Yes, I wanted Tai to touch me. At least, that was what my hormones were telling me. But I was nervous as hell and my mind wasn't so sure.

"I don't know," I finally answered, voice barely audible.

Tai nodded, accepting my answer. "Do you want me to stop?"

Again, I paused.

"I promise I won't do anything you don't want me to," Tai said. "If you're uncomfortable, tell me and I'll stop. Okay?"

"Okay."

Tai kissed me and before I knew it, our tongues were clashing heatedly with each other's in our mouths and I was beginning to feel a throbbing ache between my legs as my hands timidly explored Tai's bare chest. My nerves had given in to my hormones, anxiety subsiding somewhat and pleasure taking over. I couldn't even remember when Tai had taken his shirt off, details blurring as my mind lost the battle with my hormones over control of my body.

Tai was hard too; I could feel his hardness pressing against me as we kissed. One of his hands was groping my ass and it moved to the front of my body, cupping my erection and then squeezing. He began massaging the area slowly and I couldn't stop myself from moaning into his mouth. We broke the kiss for air and I moaned again, threading my fingers through his hair and pulling him back to my lips as soon as I could breathe again. My brain had stopped functioning and was only concerned with what Tai was doing and how good it felt. And suddenly I realized that his hand was down my pants, encircling my naked member.

I opened my mouth to say something but the thought was lost when Tai's hand began stroking me. A soft groan escaped instead and he kissed my neck, running his other hand along my side.

"Like that?" he murmured.

I bit my lip, stifling a moan as I pushed my hips up to meet Tai's hand. I'd never experienced something so intense in my life. As the rhythm of Tai's rubbing increased, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to hold on for much longer.

"Tai," I managed to speak, my voice coming out as almost a moan. "I... I'm gonna..."

"I know." Tai captured my lips in a kiss.

It wasn't long before I reached my climax and came, breaking away from the kiss and making a noise between a gasp, a moan, and a whimper. Tai stopped pumping me and waited while I recovered, my eyes shut and my lip caught tight between my teeth. My breathing began evening out and Tai pressed a quick kiss to my lips before telling me he'd be right back and leaving the room. I laid there, my mind returning as the euphoria wore off. Slowly it dawned on me that I'd just let Tai jack me off, and the sticky remnants of our actions made me even more aware of this fact. My face grew hot and I forced myself to sit up, wondering how the hell I was going to look at Tai without blushing for the next while.

Tai re-entered the room and I wanted to kick myself when I realized that he'd gone to jack himself off. He smiled as he neared the bed and I spoke.

"Sorry-" I began to apologize, but he cut me off with a kiss.

"Don't worry," he assured me when it was broken. "Seeing you like that, doing that to you, was enough. You're so fucking hot."

I knew my face was bright red, and Tai grinned before pressing another kiss to my lips. He got up and tugged his shirt back on, then tossed me mine. I pulled it over my head and then stood up, wanting to clean myself up. I tried to think of a way to mention it without the situation being awkward, but luckily I didn't have to speak; Tai seemed to understand my thoughts and nudged me towards the bathroom.

Once I'd cleaned up and changed my clothes, Tai and I headed out to the living room and sat on the couch, watching TV in content silence. After a few minutes, Tai spoke up.

"Did I go further than you wanted?"

"Kind of," I admitted. "But it's not like I tried to stop you. And, well... I'm glad I didn't." I blushed a bit, but grinned at him.

He grinned back. "Good. So, wanna do it again?"

I knew he was joking, but I decided to respond seriously.

"Not right now." I leaned my head against his shoulder, snuggling into his side, and he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"So another time, then?"

"Yeah."

"Wonderful. Gonna let me see what I'm doing next time?"

I felt heat in my cheeks at the thought of Tai seeing me naked. "Maybe. We'll see."

"Mmkay." Tai ruffled my hair and kissed my forehead. We were both silent for several minutes, but then Tai's voice sounded again.

"Oh, and Yama? Next time, wear pants that are easier to get into."

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

A week from then was Tai's birthday, so we had a huge celebration. Tai and I did some more celebrating later on when we were alone, if you know what I mean. It was another week from then before Tai attempted to take things further. It was a Friday and Tai had had soccer practice before school so we didn't get to walk together. Therefore, he didn't see beforehand what I was wearing.

I had on very tight dark blue jeans and a red short-sleeved hooded t-shirt with a long-sleeved black one underneath. The scars on my wrist were fainter, and I was glad because it hadn't even occurred to me previously when I'd been topless with Tai. However, I wear long-sleeved shirts most of the time anyway.

The first thing Mimi said to me when she spotted me at my locker was "Nice outfit."

"Thanks," I told her.

"Is it for Tai?" Mimi winked.

I stuck my tongue out at her, but didn't get the chance to respond because Tai came up behind me.

"Hey, sexy." He looked me up and down pointedly and I laughed.

Mimi laughed also. "I'll leave you two alone," she said, throwing me another wink and then taking off down the hall.

"You look so fucking hot," Tai said, emphasizing his point. "It's a miracle that my hands aren't all over you right now."

"Is it?"

"Yeah." Tai suddenly seemed impatient. "C'mon, hurry up and get your books."

I looked at him oddly, but gathered my things and stuffed them in my bag. I had just barely closed my locker when Tai began dragging me down the hall by my arm. Before I could question him, he had led us to our first period class. The door was open and we went in, Tai shutting it behind us.

I raised an eyebrow, facing Tai and sitting on the edge of a desk. "The bell hasn't even rung yet."

"I know."

"Why are we here?"

"So I can do this."

Tai bent down and kissed me. At first I was hesitant to respond, seeing as we were in a classroom, but then figured that no one would be coming in until the bell rang anyway. So I kissed back. We kissed until we desperately needed air and even then, waited only a second or two before leaning back in.

True to his words, Tai's hands were all over me. One of his wandering hands had been lingering between my legs and when it brushed against my crotch, I broke the kiss and pressed my thighs together, not allowing Tai access.

"Tai!" I felt my face heating up. "We're in school!"

"I know, but I can't help it," Tai half-whined. He pressed a small kiss to my lips. "Whenever I see you, I just want to kiss you and touch you. Especially when you wear pants like those."

"The bell's gonna ring any second. And you do know there are cameras in here, right?"

Tai shrugged. "It's not like they're watching the cameras. They only look at them if there's some criminal act or something." He kissed me again. "I can't go the whole day without touching you, Yama."

"Well, you have to. I want to do these things too"-I blushed a bit-"but we have to wait."

Tai sighed heavily. "I know..." He leaned in for another kiss, which I granted him.

The bell rang and Tai reluctantly let go of me. We sat in our seats and shortly after, the teacher came in and eyed us suspiciously. It was the first time Tai had ever been so early for class.

After that exchange, I didn't think Tai would try anything else- at least, not that day. But I was wrong. We were in third period, and in that class Tai and I sit together at the back of the room. The teacher had put on some boring documentary and turned off the lights and I was sitting in boredom, trying to keep myself from falling asleep.

I jumped slightly when Tai put his hand on my thigh. I glanced at him but he was staring ahead still. I turned back to the TV also, assuming he was just resting his hand there for the sake of touching me. That opinion changed quickly when the hand began to caress me.

I looked at him again but he refused to look at me. The moment I turned my head, his hand slid to the inside of my thigh.

"Tai!" I hissed quietly. One person glanced vaguely in our direction, then turned back around.

"Shh," Tai murmured. He squeezed my thigh and prodded the inside gently. I pretended not to notice.

Tai leaned close to my ear, his lips nearly brushing it. "Open your legs," he whispered.

My face heated up. "No!" I whispered back, eyes darting around frantically to make sure no one had heard the exchange.

"Please. C'mon."

Instantly regretting it, I opened my legs. Tai's hand moved straight to my crotch, squeezing and fondling and causing me to bite my lip in order to keep silent- which was becoming increasingly hard as he worked me skillfully with his hand. I kept my head facing forward and tried to keep my breathing steady, not wanting anyone to be suspicious in the least. It was hard, though, with Tai trying to bring me to a climax in the middle of class.

"Feel good?" Tai whispered to me. I didn't answer, face burning with heat. Tai took that as a yes and continued.

My hips gave an involuntary thrust, a small one, and I saw Tai grin out of the corner of my eye. I knew I had to get out of the classroom.

"Tai." I tried to keep my voice below a whisper. "Stop."

"Hot?" he responded in the same quiet voice.

"Yes!" I saw someone turn their heads in our direction and tensed, then sighed in relief when they looked back at the screen.

"Tell the teacher you're sick and go to the bathroom," Tai instructed me. "I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

"Are you kidding?"

"Go!"

I stood and tried to conceal my situation as I went over to the teacher's desk and asked her to go to the bathroom because I wasn't feeling well. She granted me permission and I quickly exited the classroom, wanting to reach the bathrooms before anyone was given the chance to notice that I was aroused.

It was hard to hold back the urge to just jack myself off as I waited for Tai. Luckily it wasn't long before he entered the bathroom and immediately swept me into a kiss.

When we broke apart, Tai spoke.

"I told her I was coming to check on you."

I nodded, and Tai gave me another brief kiss before leading me into one of the stalls and locking the door. He pinned me against one of the walls and began kissing me eagerly. I responded in the same manner and, not wasting time, Tai moved his hands to the front of my pants and unfastened them. He parted from me to slide my pants and my boxers down, exposing me fully. I was blushing and when Tai pulled down his pants and boxers down also, my face heated up even more. Tai ran his hands down my sides, then cupped my ass and pulled me against him, kissing me deeply. I moaned softly, pressing closer to Tai.

I was disappointed when Tai stopped kissing me, but that disappointment washed away when Tai shoved my shirt up and began kissing his way down my body. When he reached my navel, anxiety built up in me and it became clear that Tai wasn't planning on just giving me a handjob.

His lips brushed the tip of my erection and then he began taking me into his mouth. I bit my lip, a strangled moan escaping my mouth. I fisted my hands in Tai's hair, nearly ripping the flesh of my lip with my teeth as his tongue swirled around my member. I let my head drop back against the wall and it hit harder than I intended, but I barely noticed.

One of Tai's hands was rubbing my thigh, partially in a soothing manner and partially to make the experience even more sensual. I struggled to keep my hips as still as I could, not wanting to seem too out of control. But I couldn't keep quiet as Tai's pace increased and my mind burst with pleasure.

"Tai," I groaned aloud, then bit back a whimper as he did something very nice with his tongue. I didn't think I could form a coherent sentence or thought if I wanted to.

I barely managed to warn Tai when I knew I couldn't hold on any longer and he released me from his mouth, moving up to my lips again and kissing me. He finished me off with his hand, making me come with a rather loud series of moans. Tai guided my hand to his still-hard member and I helped him reach his own climax, mind still clouded as I did so. Once we were both spent, Tai kissed my neck softly and I let my head rest against his shoulder, trying to force my brain to function again.

Tai brought a hand up to stroke my hair. "Was that good?"

"Yes," I murmured.

"Was it too much?"

"...ask me later."

Tai chuckled.

We got cleaned up and straightened our clothing out, making sure we looked relatively composed before leaving the bathroom. My mind was still fuzzy and I was a bit out of it for the rest of the period.

By lunch, it had registered in my brain and I couldn't say I regretted it, but I did wish that we hadn't done it in a bathroom stall. I couldn't deny that the experience had been unbelievably hot, but saying it aloud made it seem like some sort of porn film. If anyone ever found out that I'd let Tai suck me off in a bathroom stall, I'd feel like a major whore.

Tai had soccer practice after school even though he'd had one that morning- they were doubling practices up because they had a game soon- so we didn't get to walk home together. That evening, though, Tai called me.

"Hey," he said when I picked up the phone. "I just got out of the shower. What're you doing?"

"Nothing," I responded. "Just watching TV."

"Is your dad home?"

"...if you want to come over, you can."

"Is your dad home?" Tai repeated.

"Not yet. But it really doesn't matter, because I'm not doing anything with you in my house when my dad could possibly walk in."

"You said he wasn't home."

"He will be soon! Besides, we..." I tried to think of something that sounded half-decent, but couldn't. "...earlier."

"What, you didn't like it?"

"No, you know I liked it."

"Then what's wrong? Too much too fast? It's been over a month, Yama."

"Yeah, I know. It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

It seemed silly when I thought about it again, and I stalled. "...are you coming over?"

"Yeah. Can I sleep over?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. See you in a few minutes."

"Bye."

Literally a few minutes later, Tai was at my door. He put his stuff in my room and then we sat in the living room on the couch.

"So what were you saying about earlier?" Tai asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing..."

"No, tell me."

I sighed. "Honestly, it's nothing. It's stupid."

"Yama..."

"Fine, I just..." I chewed on my lip for a moment. "I dunno... I feel like... a bathroom stall!"

"Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best setting to have your first blowjob. It's not like I planned it or anything. Though I do think the concept is hot."

"But doesn't it seem kind of..." I searched for a word, feeling awkward. "...slutty to you?"

"Is that what this is about? You feel like a slut?"

"...kind of," I admitted.

Tai leaned forward and gave me a soft kiss. "You're not. Actually, you're anything but. I'm surprised you weren't more nervous, though."

"Me too. I guess I was too caught up in the moment to be nervous. But really, Tai, this doesn't make me a whore or anything?"

"I don't know where you're getting your logic. You're the farthest thing from a whore, Yama, trust me. I think you need to look these words up in a dictionary or something."

I stuck my tongue out at him, and he grinned.

"You'd better plan on using that tongue."

"Oh, shut up." I playfully shoved him. "And by the way- don't touch me in class again, you pervert!"

Tai's grin widened. "I thought it was kind of hot, the risk of being caught."

"Yeah, well, you would."

Laughing, Tai pulled me towards him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and then kissed me. I loosely rested my arms around his neck, adjusting myself into a more comfortable position. Tai's hand was underneath my shirt and stroking my back, but I knew he wasn't planning on going past making out. Our activities were brought to an abrupt end, however, when I heard the lock click on the front door.

We broke apart immediately, sitting a fair distance away from each other and trying to look composed. My dad opened the front door and when he came into the room, we actually did a good job of looking like we'd been watching TV.

"Hello, boys," he greeted us.

"Hi, Dad," I said, and Tai followed with a "Hi, Mr. Ishida".

We exchanged a few words with my dad, then he retreated to his room. For the rest of the evening, Tai and I kept it neutral, playing video games and watching TV. Eventually we decided to go to sleep and got ready for bed, then went into my room and locked the door.

Even since we'd started going out, we'd slept over at each other's houses in the usual manner; we set up on the floor and slept there or we slept on the couches in the living room. However, this time we both hesitated before moving to set up a sleeping area.

"Yama, do you..." Tai trailed off.

"What?"

"No, nothing."

"No, really, what?"

"Honestly, forget it-"

"Tai, do you want to sleep together?"

My face heated up as soon as I said it and I rushed to clarify. "I mean, y'know, sleep in the same bed. I mean... oh, fuck, forget it."

I turned away, but Tai's arms circled around my waist before I could move. He kissed the back of my neck and I could almost feel him smiling.

"You're so cute." He let go of me and turned me around, and was indeed smiling. "And I'd love to share a bed with you. I was actually going to ask if you wanted to, but I didn't know if you'd feel comfortable."

"Yeah, well..." I slipped my arms around Tai's neck. "I trust you."

Tai kissed me, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me closer. We had to force ourselves to break the kiss before it got too intense, and then we turned off the lights and got into bed.

At first we were just laying next to each other, both of us facing the same way on our sides. There was an air of something, perhaps hesitation, between us until Tai finally closed the gap and put his arms around me. I snuggled back into him and Tai kissed my neck lightly, then whispered a good night. I echoed his words and laced my fingers through his, feeling safe and warm as I began to drift off to sleep.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**


	6. Six

**DISCLAIMER:** I own this fic but not much else.

**Tip the Scales:  
Chapter Six**  
by: neo-chan

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I was startled at first when I realized that there were arms wrapped around me. Then everything came back to me and I calmed down.

I managed to remove Tai's arms from around my waist without waking him and got off of the bed, stretching a bit. Rubbing sleep out of my eyes, I left the room and used the bathroom, then wandered into the kitchen when I realized that my dad's room door was open and he wasn't in there.

There was a note in the kitchen and I picked it up to read it, recognizing my father's familiar scrawl. It basically said that he'd been called into work and he'd be back later.

I put down the note and jumped slightly when a pair of arms circled my waist. A soft kiss was pressed to my neck and I relaxed, leaning back against Tai's chest.

"Morning," he murmured.

"Morning," I echoed.

"Have a good sleep?"

"Very."

"Me too." Tai turned me around in his arms and brushed his lips to mine lightly.

"My dad's not home," I mentioned.

Tai grinned a bit. "You trying to imply something?"

I blushed. "No, I just-"

He cut me off with another kiss, then ruffled my hair when he broke it. "You're too cute."

Tai and I did take advantage of the fact that my dad wasn't home, and Tai slept over again that night. He had to leave early Sunday morning because his mom called to tell him that his grandparents had come to visit. My dad was still asleep so Tai gave me a quick goodbye kiss and told me he'd call later, then left.

I was finishing up whatever homework that I had when my dad woke up and made coffee, then came and sat across from me at the table. I looked up at him expectantly.

He started off casually- or at least tried to. "How's school?"

"Fine," I said cautiously.

My dad nodded and picked up his cup, taking a sip. "And your friends?"

"Fine..." I waited for the next question.

"What about Tai?"

I looked at my dad suspiciously. "Fine... why?"

"It seems like you two have been acting differently around each other lately." My dad watched me carefully.

I frowned. "We're the same as ever," I protested.

"I was just asking," my dad defended himself.

"Well, Tai and I are fine."

"That's not what I was asking."

"Dad, I need to finish this," I said abruptly.

My dad got the hint and left me alone. But one thing was for sure; he suspected something.

Tai called later that evening, and I made sure to close and lock my door while I told him about my dad's suspicions. It looked like we had to start being more cautious.

"Your dad wouldn't care," Tai tried to assure me. "He's not that type of guy."

"Maybe not, but you never know how people will react to certain things. I'd rather just not risk it."

"Well, it's gonna come out sooner or later."

"If it's up to me, it'll be later."

"Your dad will be fine with it. I don't think my dad would be too happy, though. And I can't tell my mom because she'd probably tell him anyway. There are a few things my parents won't tolerate and I don't know if homosexuality is one of them."

"Well, hopefully they won't find out for a while."

There was silence for a few moments, then Tai spoke.

"Hey, Yama?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you wearing?"

"Tai, you're so-" I laughed in disbelief.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"You're so horny."

"Well, what do you expect when you walk around in those tight clothes?"

Tai and I talked for a little while longer, then said good night to each other and hung up. I pretended that my dad had never attempted to have that talk with me, and so did he. I was relieved.

Monday morning, I woke up to the sound of the doorbell. Groaning, I pulled the covers over my head and curled up into a ball. It was way too early.

I blocked out all the sounds I heard and was just drifting back to sleep when the covers were pulled off of me and a voice cried,

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!"

I instinctively curled up into a ball. My eyes squinted open and Tai came into my vision. I gazed at him tiredly. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting you up for school!" Tai sat down at the edge of my bed. "Your dad let me in."

I let out a heavy sigh. "...what time is it?"

"Time to get up!" Tai chirped. I looked at him for a moment and then buried my face in my pillow.

Tai resorted to tickling, which had me squirming and writhing beneath him in no time. After several squeals and cries for him to stop, he finally removed his hands and grinned at me.

"Ready to get up now?"

I glared at him. "You-"

Tai kissed me, not allowing my intended curses to come out, then slapped my ass.

"C'mon, let's go!"

After my somewhat rude awakening, I got up and got ready for school. Tai and I had breakfast with my dad, he left for work, and soon after we set off for school.

Tai began coming to my door in the mornings whenever he didn't have soccer practice. That Friday he had soccer practice, but I still got to see him before school started; he practically attacked me at my locker. Tai had me pinned against my locker and was kissing me deeply while fondling certain areas when someone cleared their throat loudly.

I pushed Tai away, my face bright red. Mimi raised an amused eyebrow at us.

"If you're trying to keep it a secret, you're not doing a very good job."

"She's right," I said, throwing a look at Tai.

Tai rolled his eyes. "Oh, stop being so uptight. Remind me to remove that stick from your ass later. Better things are meant to be shoved up there."

My face heated up even more and I slapped him on the shoulder. He laughed and Mimi shook her head.

"I choose not to comment on that. Anyway, what are you two doing tonight?"

"Just hanging out," Tai said.

"Well, Dai and I were planning on going to the movies and we wanted to invite you guys and whoever else wants to come. Kou and Jyou are coming, and Sora's going to be there too. I'm trying to find a guy to set her up with."

"Don't you ever get tired of playing matchmaker?"

"Nope!" Mimi said brightly. "So, wanna come?"

I glanced at Tai for confirmation and he nodded. "Sure," I said.

"Great! Tell me if you see anyone you think would be good for Sora!"

Mimi ended up bringing along some random friend of Juro's for Sora. He and Sora got along, but there wasn't any real chemistry between them. We all had a great time, though. Tai called me just before I went to bed that night and we made plans for him to come over the next day. That night as I lay in bed, I thought about the fact that it had been about a month and a half since Tai and I had gotten together. On one hand, it felt like we'd been together for much longer. On the other, it seemed like just yesterday we'd been functioning as perfectly normal best friends. One thing was for sure; I couldn't believe we'd almost passed the opportunity up. Things couldn't be better.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Lips brushed over my neck. Gentle fingers lifted my shirt so that the lips could move to my chest, trailing down my stomach lightly and then back up, meeting with my own lips. A soft voice sounded.

"Wake up, Yama."

Wait a minute.

My eyes shot open. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't worry, your dad left for work a few minutes ago. He let me in and then left." Tai kissed me. "I thought I'd wake you up more pleasantly than I did before."

Relaxing after hearing that my dad was gone, I allowed Tai to engage me in a series of kisses. He'd succeeded in waking me up- my body, at least- and we were kissing more intensely within a short amount of time. Before I knew it, we were both in nothing but our boxers. We continued to kiss passionately, Tai's hands wandering over my body and both of us becoming quite aroused.

Tai tugged at the waistband of my boxers and I nodded in approval, letting him pull them off. Tai proceeded to remove his own boxers, leaving us both in the nude. He moved his body against mine and kissed me deeply, making me moan into his mouth when he rocked his hips with mine. I moved my legs so that they were wrapped around his waist and Tai's hardness pressed against my entrance, startling me at first. However, I then began to crave more; I found myself wondering what it would feel like for Tai to be inside of me. I wanted to know. Tai looked just as lust-driven as me, and we might've gone all the way if my room door hadn't opened.

A suitcase crashed to the floor with loud thud. I nearly had a heart attack, and Tai looked just as shocked as I did. We quickly scrambled to separate from each other and cover up, and I could feel my face burning as my heart thumped wildly in my chest.

"D-Dad!" My throat was dry and I was scared shitless. "I... oh God..."

My dad stood completely still, staring. I stared back, wide-eyed. I was mortified, not to mention scared and ashamed. Shit.

"Dad, I can explain," I started again, but he held up a hand to silence me. I shut up and waited, stomach clenching nervously.

"Get dressed, both of you." He left the doorway.

Tai and I took a moment to register what he'd said, then wordlessly put on our clothes. I couldn't look at Tai; I was too embarrassed. We both walked timidly to the living room, where my dad was waiting. Tai and I sat down a distance apart and waited.

My dad shook his head. He opened his mouth, then closed it. Then he shook his head again. Finally, he spoke.

"I was on my way to work and I came back to get something I forgot. Not for a moment did I think..." He broke off with another shake of his head, then continued.

"Now, don't think I'm an idiot. I knew something was going on between you two. But I never..." Once again, he shook his head. That action was beginning to drive me crazy.

"Dad-" I began, but he cut me off.

"First of all, this relationship should not have been kept a secret. I don't appreciate you sneaking around behind my back. Second of all, you two are very young. You have your whole lives to..." He waved his hand in a sort of gesture. "There's no need to... rush things. I don't want to catch you doing anything like you were just now."

"You won't," I said quickly.

"Yamato, I'm not stupid. I know you two are going to do those things. But don't do it when I'm in the house, or at least without locking your door. I don't need to see that."

My face was a deep red, and I nodded. Next to me, Tai nodded also.

My dad looked at Tai. "Do your parents know about this?"

Tai shook his head.

"They should. It's not right to keep it from them."

"I know."

My father stood up. "I have to go to work. I'm trusting you two to act responsibly."

"Yes, sir," Tai said, and I echoed him.

Grabbing his bag, my father got up and left. He shut the door behind him and I heard the lock click a moment later.

I couldn't believe he'd left Tai and I in the apartment unattended, especially after he'd caught us in my bedroom. I looked at Tai, who turned to me at the same time.

"Is he mad?" Tai asked guiltily.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "I don't think so, I think he's just disappointed that we hid it from him and... God..." I felt my face heating up again. "My dad saw us..." I couldn't finish the sentence.

"God, I know..." Tai's face was red too. "I'm sorry, Yama."

"It's not your fault."

There was silence for a long moment. Then Tai shifted.

"Um, so...?" He looked at me questioningly.

"Well, he **is** gone..." I trailed off.

Tai stood up and tugged at my hand. "C'mon, let's go."

However, I remained sitting where I was, staring in front of me. When it became apparent that I wasn't moving, Tai prompted me.

"Yama?"

I looked up into Tai's eyes and spoke, quietly. "I really don't want to lose my virginity at fifteen."

Tai's eyes widened a bit in surprise, then he shook his head and sat down beside me. I watched him anxiously and he pressed a kiss to my forehead, pulling me into his arms.

"I wasn't expecting it from you, Yama," he said softly. "I know we got a bit carried away, but I don't think I could've done it without making sure it was what you wanted. I know you; I know how you are, and I usually know what you want. I know you aren't ready for that." Tai placed a sweet kiss on my lips and then smiled a bit. "I promise I won't try to stick my dick up your ass until you tell me it's okay."

I wrapped my arms tightly around Tai and kissed him passionately. When our lips parted, I stared into Tai's eyes for a long moment before saying anything.

"You're the best boyfriend ever."

"Well, you deserve the best."

Tai left shortly before my dad returned home. When I heard the lock click on the front door, dread crept into me; I knew we were going to have a "talk".

My dad appeared in the doorway of my room, looking serious.

"I believe we have something to discuss."

Reluctantly, I turned around in my desk chair and faced my dad as he sat down on my bed. He fixed his gaze somewhere above my right shoulder, and I was glad; I was still too humiliated from that morning to look at him.

"Yamato..." he trailed off, and I took that opportunity to speak.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have kept it from you, and that we shouldn't have been..." I blushed. "...um, doing that here... but-"

"Yamato, I'm not angry with you. Not very, anyhow. I'm more shocked than anything. Since your recent fight with Tai, I've noticed that something was different. I assume this was the reason."

I nodded, still looking down. "I was gonna tell you-"

"It's not about what you were or weren't going to do. My main concern is this: I don't want you two to rush into things and make a horrible mistake. If your relationship isn't built gradually, it will collapse. And there's a good chance that your friendship will suffer from it."

"Our relationship isn't gonna collapse."

"Oh really? And why is that?"

I made sure to keep my eyes trained on my hands. "Because..." my voice lowered. "...I love him."

Silence. Then my dad coughed. I waited for him to speak, which he finally did.

"Yamato..."

There was another stretch of silence. Then I heard my dad stand up. A moment later, he was crouched down in front of me. I lifted my gaze to met his eyes. He was smiling.

"I don't doubt your love for Tai. And I'm sure he loves you as well. And if you two believe you can make this work, for... well, forever, I suppose... then that's great. But you two are still very young. It's easy to make mistakes when you're this age. If you have any concerns or problems, either one of you... feel free to come to me. I know that Tai makes you happy, and I know he would never intentionally hurt you. And so, I see no reason to object to this relationship... as long as you two act maturely and responsibly."

I stared at my dad for a long moment, then threw my arms around him. He nearly fell, but steadied himself at the last moment and laughed.

"Thank you, Dad," I said to him, thinking about how lucky I was to have both the best boyfriend in the world **and**the best dad in the world. "I promise we'll think before we act, and we won't do anything we'll regret, and we won't rush things... I mean, more than they might've been rushed already." I blushed a bit.

"How long have you two been together anyhow?"

"Almost two months," I answered.

"That long, and I'm only finding out about it now?"

"We kind of hoped we could hide it for as long as possible," I said guiltily.

"Hm. Well, I think it's best to get it out in the open. Is Tai afraid of his parents' reactions?"

I nodded. "He doesn't know what they'll do. And I definitely don't want to tell Mom."

"You're both going to have to tell everyone eventually."

"Yeah, but we really don't want to do it now."

"I suppose I won't force you." My dad stood up. "Just remember what I said... lock the door next time."

I felt my face heating up again. "Okay."

My dad left the room, closing the door behind him, and I immediately picked up the phone to dial Tai's number.

He picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Hey-"

"Yama! Well, what's the news?" Tai sounded anxious.

"He's not mad, thank God. He just wants to make sure we act responsibly and stuff. But he supports us."

"That's good news. Because if he didn't, I'd have to sneak into your bedroom every night."

"And I've have to kick you out every night," I said playfully.

"Kick me out, my ass. I'm too irresistible."

I laughed.

"But anyway, Yama... when do you think we should stop hiding?"

"...what?" I was convinced that I'd heard wrong.

"Well, I've been thinking... I mean, even before your dad caught us. I don't want to hide anymore. If I want to kiss you, I want to be able to no matter where we are and who's around. If people have a problem with it, then screw them; we've got each other."

"I thought we agreed that we wanted to keep this a secret!" I exclaimed.

"We did, but that was a while ago. You didn't think we'd be hiding out forever, did you?"

"Well, no, but..."

"I'm not trying to pressure you into it, but I'm starting to think it was stupid to hide it in the first place. We'll have to deal with the reactions sooner or later anyway. Why not now so we can stop anticipating it?"

"I guess..."

"So are we gonna come out?"

"You mean **now**!" I couldn't stop my voice from becoming a pitch higher.

Tai chuckled. "Well, not this very moment... but soon. Maybe at school on Monday."

"Monday?" I echoed.

"Mmhm."

I really, **really** needed an excuse.

"Oh- sorry, Tai, my dad needs me for something. I have to go."

"Okay. Talk to you later."

"Yeah. Bye." I hung up and was hit with a wave of guilt.

Tai and I talked on Sunday, but I avoided the subject of coming out as best as I could. And on Monday morning, Tai had soccer practice. I woke up late and got to school just before the bell, which meant that Tai didn't have a chance to get me alone before school started. Which was good, because I didn't want him to confront me and bring it up.

At lunch, I made sure to keep up a steady conversation with everyone so that Tai couldn't bring it up even if he wanted to. Near the end of lunch, though, he offered to come with me to my locker so I could get my books. I couldn't exactly refuse.

Tai spoke up as soon as we reached my locker and I began taking things out.

"Yama, about what I was saying... you know, letting everyone know-"

I 'accidentally' dropped a book, trying to stall for more time. Tai picked it up for me and I took it from him.

"Thanks." I put it in my bag.

"So like I was saying-"

The bell rang, making me want to sigh in relief. I swung my locker door shut and slung my bag over my shoulder.

"My teacher will kill me if I'm late. See you later?"

Tai nodded and we parted ways.

After school Tai had soccer practice, so I was spared for the time being. On the way home I saw Mimi and Dai, who were on their way to the park. I joined them, if not for any other reason but to postpone or possibly elude the phone call I knew I would receive from Tai.

The moment I walked in the door, the phone rang. I'd feel beyond guilty if I didn't pick it up, so I reluctantly dragged myself over to the phone and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Listen, I've been wanting to talk to you about this all day... you never said whether you agree or not."

"With what?" I stalled.

"Coming out. Telling everyone."

"Oh. Right." I took a deep breath. "Um, well... I don't really-"

"I'm sure there are already rumors. It's better if we just confirm it; they'll lose interest if they know for a fact that we're going out."

"Or we'll be exiled."

I knew Tai was rolling his eyes. "You're such a drama queen. We won't be 'exiled'. A lot of people will support us."

"Well..." I tried to come up with an excuse. Luckily I didn't have to.

"Crap. Yama, I've gotta go. Call me later or something?"

"I've got a bunch of homework to do," I lied. "See you at school tomorrow?"

"I guess. Bye."

"Bye." I hung up and breathed a sigh of relief.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

My avoidance tactics had to be stepped up a notch on Tuesday. Tai approached me before school but barely had any time to speak before the bell rang. He tried to communicate with me through notes during class, but I pretended to be really interested in the lesson. At lunch, every time it seemed like Tai was about to bring the topic up, I made up some excuse to leave the table.

After school, Tai came to my house. On the way there, I challenged him to a race just so that he wouldn't get a chance to bring it up as we walked. Of course, I knew I'd lose badly.

We stepped in the door panting and out-of-breath from the run. We'd just taken off our shoes and Tai looked like he was about to say something when I pressed my lips to his. That was all it took; Tai began kissing me back and before I knew it, we'd just finished taking care of some 'business' in my room. We retreated to the living room and Tai turned to me, opening his mouth to speak.

The sound of a lock turning interrupted him. I'd never been more thankful that my dad was home. Well, maybe I have, but that's not the point. Instead of brushing off my dad's questions, I responded to them fully and, increasing my luck even more, Tai's mom called and asked him to come home for dinner because she'd cooked something special. Tai left, not looking too pleased and promising me a call later that night.

When Tai called, he told me that he didn't have practice the next day and that he wanted to walk to school with me. I couldn't exactly refuse, so instead I told him to call me in the morning. I think he was catching on to my avoidance tactics, but he said he would and we hung up because Kari needed the phone.

The phone rang on Wednesday morning as I was getting dressed. I picked it up, already having prepared my excuse.

"Hello?"

"Hey," came Tai's voice. "I'm gonna come up now, okay?"

"Actually, my dad told me he'd give me a ride."

"So tell him you want to walk." Tai's voice had a slight edge.

"I would, but my leg's kind of hurting," I lied. "See you at school, bye!"

I hung up before Tai could answer and finished getting ready, then left for school. I took a back way out of the apartment and went the barely-traveled route to school so I wouldn't run into Tai. He'd definitely realized by then that it wasn't just coincidence keeping us from discussing the matter, but I needed all the time I could to help prevent the breach of our privacy.

Tai was waiting for me at my locker when I got to school. Taking a deep breath, I headed over and smiled brightly at him.

"Hi!"

"Your leg seems fine to me."

_Shit._I laughed lightly, trying to brush it off. "Yeah, it was just a bit cramped. I'm fine now."

Tai didn't look like he believed one word. "Listen, I want to talk to you about-"

"Oh, I just remembered that I have to drop off an assignment!" I slammed my locker door shut and faced Tai briefly. "See you at lunch!"

Tai was definitely annoyed. "Yama-"

"I promise we can talk later. Bye!"

Without waiting for his response, I practically sprinted down the hallway. It looked like I was going to have to deal with a very pissed-off Tai at lunch.

I arrived at my locker before lunch to put my things away, and Tai arrived soon after. He gave me a serious look.

"We need to talk."

I nodded reluctantly. Then, over Tai's shoulder, I spotted Mimi and Sora and waved. They waved back and approached us.

"Hi, you guys!" Mimi chirped. "How are you?"

Tai opened his mouth, but I spoke first.

"Good. You?"

"Good," Mimi said, and Sora nodded in agreement. "Except for this crazy project we have."

"When's it due?"

"Tomorrow... but we haven't even started yet!"

"I can help you!" I volunteered.

"Really?" Mimi looked happy. "Kou's out sick, so having your help would be great!"

"Let's go do it now!"

Tai put a hand on my shoulder. "Yama-"

"I'll be back when we're done," I said, cutting him off. Quickly, I planted a kiss on his cheek and then took off down the hall with Mimi and Sora.

The project took about half the period, and Sora and I retreated to the cafeteria while Mimi typed up a few last things. Sora sat down and I was about to, but Tai got up from his seat and dragged me a short distance away by my sleeve.

"Whoa, calm down!" I exclaimed. "What's wrong?"

"I've been trying to get you alone for the last two days!" Tai exploded. "And you've been purposely avoiding me!"

"Why would I be avoiding you?"

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit. You don't want to talk about this."

"About what?"

"Going public with-"

Afraid someone would overhear, I clapped a hand over Tai's mouth before he could finish. He looked pretty furious when I removed my hand, and I was expecting him to say anything but what he said next.

"Kiss me."

I blinked, then managed to get out a "what?"

"Kiss me," Tai repeated.

"But..." My eyes darted around frantically. "Here?"

"Here," Tai confirmed. "In front of everyone."

"But..." I racked my brain for an excuse.

"What, are you ashamed of our relationship?"

"No..."

"Then let's get this over with."

I started to turn my head to see if anyone was looking but, before I could, Tai grasped my jaw firmly and held it in place.

"Don't look. Just do it."

"Right now?"

"Right now."

Trying to breathe, I slowly leaned in. I felt like a group of professional gymnasts were performing routines in my stomach. When I hesitated, Tai closed the gap between us himself and took my lips into a kiss.

Images of my destroyed life burned in my eyelids. I began to pull away, but Tai's hand was on the back of my neck to ensure that I couldn't. My shoulders slumped in defeat and I gave in, kissing him back. My life was ruined; I could at least try to enjoy the kiss.

When we broke apart, I had the urge to bolt out of the cafeteria and never return. Instead I slowly and shakily sat down at our table, not looking in any other direction but directly ahead of me. I didn't want to see people's reactions.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Tai asked, putting an arm around my shoulders.

"Yes." I could feel several pairs of eyes on me, and I just knew that half the cafeteria was staring. I squirmed uncomfortably.

"I'm so proud of you two!" Sora exclaimed, smiling. "It's great that you had the courage to do that."

Jyou and Daisuke nodded in agreement, adding their own praise. I worked up the nerve to turn my head and shifted my gaze to the table beside us. The people sitting at it were whispering furiously and eyeing us. I suddenly wanted to throw up, and I turned back around to find chocolate brown eyes looking at me.

Tai offered me a smile. "I just thought it would be easier on us if we didn't have to sneak around anymore."

"Yeah, it's so much better to have everyone hating us," I said sarcastically.

"If everyone hated us, we wouldn't be sitting here right now. Don't be so negative."

I pushed Tai's arm off of me and didn't say anything in response. His smile turned into a frown and he stood up.

"Fine. I'll be outside if anyone needs me."

Tai left, and the rest of the table gave me looks of disapproval.

"What!" I exclaimed.

"You should go after him," Daisuke said.

"No," I refused, crossing my arms over my chest. "If anyone's apologizing, it should be him."

I had a flashback of me saying the same thing during mine and Tai's initial fight, and my eyes widened once I realized how irrational I was being. Immediately, I stood up.

"I'll be back." I headed out of the cafeteria, trying my best to ignore the stares I received as I passed by various tables.

The moment I stepped outside the nearest set of doors, I saw a soccer game going on. And of course, that's where Tai was. He hadn't begun playing yet, though; he and a few guys were talking. I lingered by the doors, not knowing whether I should approach him or not. That choice was made for me when one of the guys pointed in my direction and Tai turned. He waved me over, smiling a bit.

I made my way to where Tai was standing. He and one guy had just finished laughing over something. When I reached them, Tai put an arm around me and spoke.

"You guys know Yamato."

The guys nodded, although I couldn't recall ever meeting them.

"Good." Tai directed his next words at me. "They were asking about the thing in the caf."

"Oh." So word had spread already. I shifted nervously, trying to ignore the fact that all of the guys were staring at me.

"They've got no problem with it," Tai continued. He looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Right?"

They all nodded.

"As long as you keep winning us games, we don't care," one of them said to Tai, laughing. The guy beside him nodded in agreement.

"Plus, you picked a pretty one," another guy added under his breath. I don't think Tai heard him.

"See?" Tai said to me, squeezing my arm. "Nothing to worry about."

Okay, so the jocks wouldn't give us a hard time because Tai had some sort of control over them. But what about everyone else?

At the end of the period, we were at my locker when Mimi came barreling down the hall. She stopped when she reached us, looking excited.

"Did you hear!" she exclaimed.

"Hear what?" I asked.

"Two guys were kissing in the caf!"

Tai laughed. "Mimi, that was us."

Mimi gaped at us. "What! And I missed it!"

"Yup."

"...I'm never doing another project at lunch again," she grumbled.

In my class after lunch, there was a group of girls across the room who kept whispering to each other and looking at me. Eventually, near the end of class when we had some spare time, one of them came over to me.

"Are you the one Tai Yagami was kissing in the caf today?"

I blushed, embarrassed. "Yes."

"Are you two going out?"

I nodded shyly.

"That's so cute!" The girl went back to report to her friends.

I was beginning to think that maybe it wouldn't be so bad when a guy passed my desk and sneered at me.

"You'd better watch your back. If you so much as look at me or my friends, I'll kick your gay ass."

That was the kind of threat I'd been afraid of. However, it was nothing compared to what happened on Thursday.

I got to school and was greeted at my locker with a beautiful(note the sarcasm) message: someone had written 'Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks!' I spent a few minutes rubbing the ink off, deciding that it would only be worse to tell Tai about it.

Next, someone grabbed my ass in the hallway. I whipped around as quickly as I could when it happened, but couldn't stop the culprit. Again, I decided not to tell Tai unless it happened again.

Tai and I have phys ed for our last period of the day. Unfortunately, Tai had left school halfway through the day for a soccer game. I was nervous as I walked into the changerooms that period, knowing Tai wasn't there to protect me.

The moment I walked in, there were snickers from various spots in the room. I tried not to pay attention to them, intending to change as fast as I could and get out of there.

A loud whistle sounded from a corner of the room when I pulled off my jeans, and I looked to see a guy named Ren with a smirk on his face. Everyone in the changeroom turned to look at the source of the noise.

"Go on, Ishida, keep changing," he said. "It's a nice show. Too bad your lover boy's not here to see it."

I ignored him-or at least tried to-but once my back was turned, someone reached around me from behind and grabbed my crotch. I gasped, and the person-Ren-pressed me back against him.

"You're pretty hot. I can see why Tai would be into you."

I shuddered, and Ren let out a throaty chuckle. He gave me a rough squeeze, then let go and left the changeroom. I shakily finished changing and walked unsteadily out of the room after him.

I couldn't fight back; that would only provoke them more. Besides, I didn't really know how I could fight back. If I just didn't react, maybe they would leave me alone. I couldn't tell Tai; he'd get extremely pissed and violent and that would just stir up more trouble. And the guys knew they couldn't get away with that kind of stuff around Tai, so they'd only do it when he wasn't around. Basically, I was screwed.

When class ended, I tried to hurry out of the changeroom before Ren could say or do anything. Unfortunately, he was right behind me when I walked in.

"Look at you, all hot and sweating like that." He smirked. "Is that how you look after Tai fucks you?"

I dropped my shirt, flustered, and bent down to pick it up. Big mistake; as soon as I felt a hand on my ass, I straightened up and turned around. I found myself facing Ren, who's face was merely an inch from mine. He spoke in a low tone, leaning in so that our lips almost brushed.

"Is that how you'd look if **I** fucked you?"

Suddenly the sound of distant cheering filled the room and a moment later, a large group of guys came running through the doors. I was filled with relief when I saw that Tai was among them.

He spotted me and grinned, coming straight over. Ren had wisely distanced himself from me the moment he saw Tai.

"We won!" Tai said happily.

"As if you had any doubts." My voice was surprisingly steady.

"That's true. I **am** the best." Tai winked at me playfully, then went off to talk about their victory to a few other guys.

I caught Ren's eye across the changeroom. He cast a glance at Tai, then deliberately passed by me on his way out. When he was right next to me, he paused.

"I'll see you later, princess." He slapped my ass and walked out.

Tai was too busy celebrating to witness this, and I was partially glad; I didn't need more attention brought to myself. However, I did need some way to stop Ren. School would be ending the following Tuesday and then we had exams, but I didn't want to endure his assaults until then. A lot of things could happen in a few days.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**


End file.
